I am a notorious planner. I like to think of myself as being someone who "goes with the flow" but in reality, when I feel like I don't have a plan or a clear vision of what the next step is, I get really scared. In this fear of the unknown, all of my limiting beliefs come to the surface and I feel inadequate and like I'm not and never going to be "good enough."

The good thing is I'm beginning to realize this pattern of freaking out everytime the plan looks like it's turning out or is turning out differently than I "think" it should. Today as I was teaching Yoga, I was recalling what it was like for us when we were children. How the whole world and all of life was a Great Unknown. How every day we would ask questions about things, what they were, their meaning, etc. Our parents were the source of all of our guidance and we trusted all of their answers...

Along the way we began to acquire knowledge, some of it from our parents, some from our schooling, some from peers, personal experiences, etc. From this knowledge we began to piece together how life "should be." We began making plans for our life in accordance with our Master Plan or overall vision. And at some point, we lost the flow and began forcing our life to be the way we think it should. I still do this all the time, yet everytime I begin to engage in the forcing again, the Universe seems to have a beautiful and often challenging lesson for me to learn about non-attachment, letting go, surrendering to what is and trusting in the flow of my life. When the plan isn't working out "my way" I feel afraid. What am I going to do? I'll often get down, depressed sometimes angry before I come to the place of surrender, which in Yoga is called Isvara-Pranidhana or Surrender to God's Will.

When I come into surrender and let go of my fear, doubt and worry, the awakening is often one of learning to Trust, Be, Breathe and Live at Ease with the miraculous Flow of Life, living each moment to the fullest as it unfolds.

The Universe certainly does work in mysterious ways, it amazes me everytime. Today when I was in class teaching and feeling afraid of the unknown, one of the limiting thoughts I had was "I've been doing this for five years, I can't believe I've been teaching that long, the time has gone so fast and this is all I've done?"

Then, I get home from class and check my e-mail and I have an e-mail from a student who writes:
"I really enjoy your classes and what you have to say each time!! Can’t believe you have only been doing this for 5 years!!!"

And, the Universe never ceases to remind us to laugh at ourselves. Everytime we practice we begin in Child's Pose. We come into our practice from a state of surrendering our ego and opening up to guidance, remembering no matter how much we may think we know, every breath we breath is really the unknown. The fullness of life can only be felt fully in the Great Unknown, wide-eyed and discovering life, the world around us and ultimately, our own Self/Spirit with every breath we breathe.

May we let go of our fear as we breathe into the Great Unknown one breath at at time...
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