So, I really have been embodying the flow since I returned from my training with Shiva Rea.

The uncertainty of what's next in my life has had me feel a great deal of fear in moments. And yet, I have not allowed that fear to paralyze me from taking action, but rather, I have taken action in the face of my fear of the unknown. And, it is all working out ok. I actually signed a 12 month apartment lease, a couple of weeks ago, feeling I was being guided to move. I was planning on moving next Thursday, but just yesterday, I realized it is not the right time for this move to happen. I did feel guided through my meditation and the visions I received to take the steps to move, but the mystery of the Flow is it can guide us one way through blind faith, only to steer us in another direction unexpectedly...

This is why meditation is so important. We have to take the steps we are being guided to take in the face of all of our fears. And only through the stillness can we know that intimate guidance we are being given through the subtle whispers of the Intelligent Flow. Just this past weekend, Tom and Daphne Larkin, of Sanctuary Yoga in Nashville, TN, came to Dallas to give a two-day workshop at exhale spa. I am house sitting for a fellow-yogini friend of mine, Kendall Inman, and they stayed at her house with me while they were here. It was an incredible experience to be able to spend this time with them. They have been studying with Shiva for the past 8 years, and while Daphne Larkin is my assigned mentor through Shiva's Teacher Training Program, Shiva Rea is their direct mentor. We had many wonderful and enlightening conversations while they were here, one of which was about Isvara-pranidhana, or surrender to the Will. So, to embody the flow is to surrender to the Will and this is Yoga. B.K.S. Iyengar describes the very essence of this in his book Light on Yoga. Here is what he writes on the very first page from the chapter entitled, What is Yoga? Although I've written about this before, it seems we can not be reminded enough. These are the very first sentences:

"The word Yoga is derived from the Sanskrit root yuj meaning to bind, join, attach and yoke, to direct and concentrate one's attention on, to use and apply. It also means union or communion. It is the true union of our will with the will of God." - B.K.S. Iyengar

Since returning from the silent meditation retreat at Yogananda's hermitage and ashram in Encinitas, CA, I have realized a new appreciation for silence. There are times when I am talking and I find the words become tiring and I long for the silence. The truth is, we do not need to travel to an ashram to realize the sanctuary of silence and peace which exists within our Being. Sometimes I imagine the possibility of observing one day of silence, at least once-a-month to begin with. Gandhi practiced one day of silence each week, although there's no need to rush into things, the idea of that feels a bit too intense. Perhaps even seasonally would be a good start, although I hope to be able to return to Yogananda's ashram on a regular basis and observe a few days of silence at a time. The experience of eating meals in silence, with a group of people I had never met before, was profoundly enlightening. There were a couple of times that I was brought to tears because it was such a moving experience. It had me remember that I am truly a child of God, and that I am sitting at His/Her table, eating His/Her food, walking on His/Her planet and that none of this is really mine. I'm really just a guest wherever it is I go during the short while I am here.

Oh ya, how could I forget the Chocolate Bliss? Well, I will have to write more in my next post about this. Stay tuned for that!

As we grow through the season of summer, we are in a time of intense change. As I sat in meditation last night, I began to sob as I felt the emotional intensity of the experiences I am growing through, the healing of a past relationship, my father's illness, changes and transformations in my work, the beginning of a new relationship, not knowing what's next, feeling afraid of loss and the fear of change, even though change is the only constant. It was at my training with Shiva, that Shiva spoke to me about spending time feeling the depths of my experience. As I shared with her about my father, she suggested I go down to the beach and sit with myself for a half hour and just wail. When she suggested this, it was hard for me to imagine I would feel that depth of sorrow within myself. Last night, I realized what she was talking about as I sat alone in my bed crying out loud.

As I share this, I do not share it from a place of sadness, but from a place of encouragement. The only way to know true healing is to know and experience true feeling, from the deepest depths of sadness within ourselves to the greatest heights of joy. The reality is it is all flowing from the same place of umbounded consciousness or Love. The Light of Consciousness is Love, but we must allow that Light to illuminate the depths of our insecurities and darkness to know the fullness of its energetic embrace and presence in our hearts and minds. So, as we grow through this season, allow the Agni (fire) of summer to unsurface the unseen within yourself. And, be receptive to the Grace. Amazing grace...I once was lost but now I'm found...was blind, but now I see.

One more thing, my dear friend and meditation teacher, Roy Williams will be speaking at the Unity Church of Dallas on August 17th at 10 am. He will be speaking on the three pillars of enlightenment, Study, Service and Meditation. I hope you will be able to attend as he is a true teacher who has positively impacted my life with his guidance and wisdom.

Until next time...Om shanti! Read more