To achieve this certainty is to know the real meaning of the word yoga. It is the breaking of contact with pain." This quote is from the Bhagavad-Gita, the most revered spiritual text in India, but this concept shows up in every major Faith.

I am so blessed and ever-increasingly aware of my blessings, aware that there is an Infinite River of Goodness flowing into my Being, my Life, with every breath I breathe. So many wonderful openings are manifesting and aligning and it feels wonderful. I realize the alignment I'm experiencing is because of the work I've done through Yoga. I've had the courage to face my darkness, my demons, my struggles, fears, pain and sorrow. Much of which I never really knew was present, until I began Yoga.

Sometimes Yoga brings us into our heaviness, our darkness, before we are able to really open up to the Light. The analogy, is like coming out of a dark room into the bright sun, without sunglasses, the Light is blinding. I believe Yoga eases us into the Light, rather than opening our eyes to it all at once. It might be too much to take in, too shocking without this gradual process...

I always thought of myself as being a happy person. I remember my childhood as being a very joyous time. I had everything a child could hope for, I even had my own pony named Brandy. :) High school was a good time, I enjoyed it, I wouldn't want to do it over, but I have many fond memories from those times. College, the same. My best friend is someone who I met in college and I couldn't imagine life without her. It was a lot of partying, but I enjoyed those years, too.

But, after college, the luster of Life began to slowly fade away. My parents have been married for over thirty years, but have had a challenging marriage throughout that time. There were many times both in my childhood and adult life when I wasn't sure if they would make it. This was very hard for me. When I moved in with them for a short while after graduating from college in 2000, this was a time of much difficulty and pain. My mother went through a severe depression and this was startling and frightening. I began to see myself in her. I began to wonder if the happiness I had felt like I had experienced growing up was truly authentic, or just the way I learned to deal with the world, "put on a happy face", "be positive", "smile."

When I moved to Dallas in 2001, I was fortunate to find a Yoga class in the area. I had read a little about it, that the celebrities did it, Christy Turlington, Madonna, and thought it was something I would like to try. I fell in love with it from my very first class. Initially, it was like this rush. My whole world seemed to open up to this new found passion that made me feel so good on every level of my Being. I was working at a small advertising agency in the area, but not happy in my work. I found myself surfing the web all the time, reading about Yoga, I couldn't get enough of it. When September 11th happened, I began to question why I was spending my time, which was so obviously precious, in a place where I wasn't happy. So, in 2002, I quit, and committed myself to learning and teaching Yoga.

This practice has opened me up to so much Goodness, but the journey hasn't been easy. It has taken me into the depth of my Soul, and shown me the places of darkness within me. The anger, the struggle with depression myself, the insecurities, shame, self-hate, it was all there, hiding beneath the surface from my own awareness. I never knew it existed until I began Yoga. I think this is why people who intially fall in love with Yoga, sometimes fall out of love with it. For some people, they've already gone through their darkness when they find Yoga, but for others it becomes their vehicle to suppor them in moving through it.

To open up to the Light, we must go through the darkness, there is no other way, at least as far as I've experienced. And, if there was another way, I'm not sure I would want to take the easy path. It's the struggle, which has been immense over the past four years, that has allowed me to take my sunglasses off and soak in the sun in all its glory. Healing from incest as a child, accepting myself and my sexuality (however it expresses itself today), deep, deep places I never knew I had, and never knew I would need to move through, to heal so I could receive life's Light. I never knew I was in pain. Life was pretty much a flatline until I began Yoga, no real highs, and no real lows. Just sort of there, no passion, no emotion, just passing by, just like me.

It's hard for me to put this out there. I'm learning, it's the only way, though. I'm afraid of sharing of opening up. Yoga is a Light, and it will shine on your darkness, but ultimately, dissolve it with its healing illumination. But, when it's time to take off your sunglasses, the Light is so glorious and brilliant, I can feel it in every cell of my Being. An Energy, with me, inside of me, pulsing through my veins, igniting my very Being into existence. Alive, energized, passionate, free, giving, faithful, loving, abundant, sexual, joyous, sometimes sad, sometimes frustrated, once and a while, even angry, not happy to admit it, but it sometimes is there, at the world, war, pollution, government, disease, famine, poverty, falsehood, misconception, lies, mean people. It's ok, I've learned. Whatever I'm feeling, to not be ashamed of it, or make myself wrong for feeling it. Feeling my emotions, is the only way I can let go of the heaviness, the hurt, when it is there.

Here's what I didn't know at the time. That it was all a part of the process. Feeling the tightness in your body, is a part of being flexible. Going through stressful experiences is a part of Being peaceful. Feeling sad, depressed, is a part of being joyous. Getting angry, upset, mad, is a part of being loving. Scarcity, being broke, is a part of being abundant. It's impossible to know one, without having known the other. Trust you are okay whatever it is you are moving through, experiencing right now in this moment. It's all opening you up, so you can experience the Infinite Grace showering and shining down upon you right now in this very moment. As you sit here, your whole body is illuminated by an Infinite number of rays of light, shining light onto your whole Being. You can't see them, but they are there, they are always there, shining upon you every step of the way. So don't worry about what the path looks like today, if you are practicing Being the most sincerely loving, compassionate, peaceful person you can possibly be and this intention is true in your heart, then every step of the way is bringing you to your Highest Good, and oh, how Good it is. So, keep the faith, love is faith, peace is faith, joy is faith, that it's all Good, you are all Good, and you are on the path of Being all you can Be, your True Potential, your Light illuminating from every cell of your Being.

"When I look back on all the misery,
and all the heartache that they brought to me.
I wouldnt' change it for another chance,
this blood is thicker than any other circumstance."
- Madonna, Keep It Together

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"When can a man be said to have achieved union with Brahman? (God) When his mind is under perfect control and freed from all desires, so that he becomes absorbed in the Atman (Individual and Universal Spirit), and nothing else. "The light of a lamp does not flicker in a windless place": that is the simile which describes a yogi of one-pointed mind, who meditates upon the Atman. When, through the practice of yoga, the mind ceases its restless movements, and becomes still, he realizes the Atman. It satisfies him entirely. Then he knows that infinite happiness which can be realized by the purified heart but is beyond the grasp of the senses. He stands firm in this realization. Because of it, he can never again wander from the inmost truth of his being.

Now that he holds it
He knows this treasure
Above all others:
Faith so certain
Shall never be shaken
By heaviest sorrow.

To achieve this certainty is to know the real meaning of the word yoga. It is the breaking of contact with pain."-Bhagavad-Gita


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(This photo is of the mural in my Yoga studio which was painted by a friend. It represents the Eight-Limbed Path of Yoga. Click to enlarge.)

Upside Down by Jack Johnson: Click to Play
Jack%20Johnson%20-%20Upside%20Down.mp3

What does it mean to be in alignment? I never really understood the feeling until I learned how to do a Handstand in Yoga this year. As a child who took gymnastics for 10 years, I was never able to hold Handstand. I could get up on my hands with my feet in the sky, but I would have to walk my hands around to keep from falling over. Earlier this year I committed myself to learning and being able to hold Handstand. This one pose alone has transformed me in more ways than any other pose I have ever learned...

Alignment is a feeling, an awareness. It's a tuning into and being aware of the subtle energy moving all things and I've been able to open up to this from learning how to Be in a Handstand. To be in alignment means to be in a perfect balance of effort and effortless/ease. This is the state of Yoga.

"The word Yoga is derived from the Sanskrit root yuj meaning to bind, join, attach and yoke, to direct and concentrate one's attention on, to use and apply. It is the true union of our will with the will of God. 'It thus means,' says Mahadev Desai in his introduction to the Gita according to Gandhi, 'the yoking of all the powers of body, mind and soul to God; it means the disciplining of the intellect, the mind the emotions, the will, which that Yoga presupposes; it means a poise of the soul which enables one to look at life in all its aspects evenly.'"-Light on Yoga, B.K.S. Iyengar

Although it requires intention, core strength, focus and some degree of effort to be in a Handstand, the amazing part is once in it, it requires very little effort at all. The breath begins to deepen and expand, flowing rhythmically in and out of the body. The eyes concentrate on one point down at the floor and a feeling of energy begins to move through from the fingers all the way up to the toes. Confidence moves through your Being, and an awareness of being in a state of harmony with the energy and the nature of the Universe, and that there is this powerful, playful and peaceful Presence moving all things.

The practice of Yoga is the practice of attuning and aligning ourselves to this Energy, God-Force moving in every molecule of life. I'm learning this alignment can only really exist in the absolute absence of force. Meaning, having no need whatsoever to control circumstances, events or outcomes in your life. Rather, surrendering your need/fear to make life be a certain way and opening up to the inherent and intelligent rhythm already moving you.

Will you let it? Will you let go of your struggle and allow yourself to be moved by it? Will you give up trying to control outcomes or pre-plan your entire existence? Will you open up to the Infinite Energy right here, right now, in all it's Goodness and allow yourself to feel the pulsating current of Life in every molecule of your Being? Will you let yourself live in the Unknown, the ever-unfolding moment and be awakened to the Awesomeness of each breath you breathe? Will you receive the gift of Life, which is always a surprise, always unexpected and ever-expanding in its Goodness...

Namaste...

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In the next few weeks I will be beginning a monthly newsletter called Awaken to Your True Potential. In this newsletter you will find a monthly inspiration to open your mind and uplift your Spirit, Information on workshops in the area for body, mind and Spirit, Articles on Yoga and specific Yoga poses, as well as, the most up-to-date information for being optimally healthy in every cell of your Being.

If you are interested in signing up for this newsletter, please visit the Newsletter section of this site and submit your e-mail address so you can be registered to receive it each month...

The following is an excerpt from a book entitled:

Water & Salt: The Essence of Life

The Meaning of the Word Crystal

"Have you ever thought how the word crystal came about?

One part of the word derives from the Greek term "Kristos" or "Christos", as in "Christ", meaning "the Anointed One." Anointed means that one is put in "oil," German "OEL", where oil, coming from "OL" means Spirit and "El" meaning Light.
The one with spiritual light, or having raised his consciousness by being initiated into the Light.

However, the word Kristos is much older than Christianity and actually means, in its original definition, consciousness.

That's why the human body of Jesus, because of his consciousness, was called the Anointed One, as those who were anointed were initiated into the metaphysical science of the cosmos.

He, who was anointed, was initiated into the metaphysical laws of the cosmos. It is also the purpose of our life to raise our consciousness to a level of all-consciousness, or "Cryst-Al", "Christ-All", Crystal."

The Light in Me Honors the Light in You...Namaste!

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Pheewww...what a month it was.

It began with my brother's wedding in Cancun. Two weeks later I attended my 10 year reunion in Ohio over Memorial Day Weekend. The next weekend I held my True Yoga DVD Release Party. And then last weekend, I went back to Ohio to attend a wedding of a friend of mine from college.

That being said, I feel toxic, and loaded down. I definitely "indulged" this last month. I ate whatever I wanted, drank whatever I wanted and didn't spend enough time practicing Yoga. I did as the Romans did and enjoyed it while I was doing it. And, although I have no regrets, I can't wait to get back into my routine. I miss my routine, of health, wellness, eating right, sleeping enough, practicing Yoga, working out, going for steams in the steam room (my favorite) and BEING balanced...

Sometimes, when I get out of balance, I will feel guilty or make myself wrong for letting myself do so. It's a challenging practice for me to remember that being out of balance can serve us, too. Whenever I get out of balance, it reawakens me at a deeper level to the value of being balanced and how much I appreciate feeling in alignment with mySelf physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I awaken with a greater conviction in my Being to recenter myself and feel my very best in every cell of my Being. It also opens me up to new experiences in my life to support me in creating that.

I've been intending to develop a regular Yoga practice at a studio for several months now. Somehow, I just haven't managed to create that in my life yet. I'm happy to say I feel certain of my ability to manifest this in my life now, and so aware of how completely vital it is for me to do so. I believe the last month of drifting so far away from my routine is what's supporting me in getting back into it and taking myself to a new level of health.

The only way to create true balance, is to go out of balance sometimes. It's not that we should seek being out of balance, but rather, embrace it when we do stumble or fall or wobble from time-to-time. It's helping us to find our foundation and root down into ourselves at an even stronger and stabilized level.

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As I was teaching today, a thought occurred to me.

"The box we live in is constructed by 'I can't.'"

The moment we attempt to do what we think we can not do, we begin to dissolve the walls of our self-created box, and ultimately, our own self-limited existence.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

I see this all the time in myself, and in the students who are in my classes. So often, I will invite students to do a certain pose which they may not think they have the ability to do. Rather than attempting it, they will keep doing the pose they feel safe doing. Now, there are days when it is best for us to not push ourselves, the body is fatigued, or tired or we just don't feel like it. And, this is ok. But, 90% of the time, when we are feeling like it, the best thing we can do is to attempt something...

Just the mere attempt alone, whether we even get into the pose or not, opens something up in our body, mind and spirit and begins to deconstruct our self-imposed box which keeps us small and limited. Today as students were attempting Bridge Pose, by simply lifting their hips up in the air, while keeping their shoulders on the ground, I encouraged them to at least put their hands by their shoulders. Just that small movement, even though they may make no effort to lift in that moment, will begin to open their vision that much more to being able to see themselves eventually going further in the pose, and maybe even eventually into a full Wheel Pose.

I've been practicing Yoga for 5 years. I have a background in gymnastics and ballet which I studied throughout my childhood. The longer I practice Yoga, the more open I become and the more I open up to envisioning the possibility of anything being possible, including any pose I may have the wish of being able to do. When I first started Yoga, I thought Up Dog was all there was. That Up Dog was only Up Dog and it had no relation to anything else or any other pose. What I realize now is how every single pose is interconnected. One pose leads into another and prepares us to be able to be in another pose at a deeper, more open level.

Now, when I see myself being in Up Dog, I see myself awakening to being able to bend my knees and touch the tips of my toes to my head. I'm happy to say I'm about one inch away after today. I've been practicing this for about two months now. Though there have been times when I've had limiting beliefs about whether or not I'll ever be able to do this, after today, I am confident I will. When I experienced this opening today from this attempt at doing what I thought I may not be able to do, it shifted my entire consciousness on every level. I literally heard a crack (it felt good) in my sternum as I leaned my head back and yearned to feel my toes. The crack felt like it had been waiting all my life to happen right in that moment. Finally!

As I left class, I felt lighter, healthier, freer, younger, more energized, uplifted and empowered than I had felt all day. We can add those to the list, Ms. Roosevelt, too:

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is a gift if our Yoga practice reveals to us and shines light on the "I can'ts" we've been limiting ourselves with in our life. Everytime we have the awareness of where we've been holding ourselves back, playing and being small, having limiting beliefs rather than limitless beliefs, we have an incredible and precious opportunity to move through our fear and "Awaken to Our True Potential."

The box will always be there to crawl back into if we want. It's not a bad thing. It helps us to feel secure in an uncertain world. Everytime we attempt what we've thought we're not able to do, it's like we open a window in our box, allow some light to shine in and give ourselves the ability to see out into the Infinite world of Possibility and the Infinite nature of our True Self.

Namaste! Read more

Well, the DVD is finished, the party is over and the memories will last a lifetime. The DVD Release Party was the biggest event I've ever organized. When I owned a Yoga studio in Uptown Dallas, I would often host events at my studio, such as Health and Wellness Fairs and concerts with local musicians. However, even though it was "my" Yoga studio, I was never the center of attention. So, I would also get to experience the event as an observer, as well, just like the participants who were attending them.

The DVD Release Party was a new experience for me on so many levels. Because of the size of the party, it was a financial investment greater than any I had ever made on an event before. This was an exhilerating and sometimes scary process putting it all together. It was such a gift to be able to handle an event like this, with a beautiful space soaring 21 floors above the Dallas skyline at the Mondrian Cityplace in a gorgeous penthouse, to an abundance of food, to a an awesome projector that played the DVD larger than life up on the wall. So many wonderful friends came to support me in this celebration and it was truly humbling to have both my family and friends in attendance, many of whom came from far North Dallas and beyond...

Today, I felt a bit exhausted when I first woke up. As I reflected back on the past month, I realized I had been quite busy. In just one month, I was a brides maid in my brother's wedding in Cancun, then I went to my 10 year reunion in Ohio over Memorial Day Weekend, and I hosted the True Yoga DVD Release Party this past weekend. It felt as though this past month was a whirlwind and often I was whirling right along with it. It was like I couldn't remember the last time I really felt my feet on the ground, free of thought, free of thinking about something I needed to do or plan for or organize.

As I returned to my regular routine today, all of my classes focused on being grounded in our foundation.

Sthira Sukham Asanam-The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali
"The connection to the earth should be steady and joyous."

I realized I had not been taking time to really ground down into the moment and, ultimately, to mySelf. I remembered that as wonderful as it is to BE busy and have so many wonderful opportunities given to us, the most important part is to appreciate the moment and the gift that it is. And, to take time each day to BE aware of it and grounded to it. It seems to me, being present is one of the ultimate stretches of the practice of Yoga.

It is my intention, as my life continues to open up, expand and prosper with the Grace of my Higher Power, that I can awaken fully to the moment I'm in, be fully present in that moment and appreciate each one for the awesomeness that it is.

I will begin posting more regularly now that some of the major events of the past month are complete. Also, I will let you know when I've got my appearance on Fox 4 Good Day up on the site, from when I was on their morning show last Thursday. It was so much fun!

Oh, and if you would like to purchase the True Yoga DVD, you can do so online by clicking www.trueyogainc.com/dvd and submitting your information and then purchasing the DVD with Pay Pal.

Thank you to all of your for your incredible support on this journey.

Namaste!Read more