(The symbol for the Anahata (Heart) Chakra.)

I often struggle with what's appropriate to share with you. I question how much I "should" open myself up and reveal about my personal life and experiences. When I first began this blog, I was so ecstatic to be sharing about all things Yoga related. A friend of mine gave me feedback and said, "I want to hear about you, not about all of this impersonal stuff." So, it seems my blog, in addition to sharing about information that pertains to Yoga, has evolved more and more into an expression and offering of myself. I receive feedback from those of you who read my blog and I am grateful and amazed that what I share seems to strike a chord within you. I do believe in the interconnectedness of all things and each of us. We evolve individually and, yet, collectively. No two souls are separate, because we are all souls in the womb of Life...

So, I have been going through massive awakening and healing in my heart chakra. This awakening has, at times, been extremely painful as I feel the struggle of my ego and it's pride fighting to hold on to old patterns and ways of Being. My heart yearns to increasingly open and be free and yet I find it still can be frightening to express my true feelings. In speaking with a co-worker of mine the other day we discussed this exact thing. She was sharing about her experience with her boyfriend, who happens to be living in another part of the world. She shared her insecurities about their relationship and her questioning of his true feelings for her. In her heart she feels strongly he is the one for her, yet somewhere within her there is an uncertainty that he feels the same. Recently, I connected with a person who I felt drawn to and yet terrified of this feeling. Of course I have the intention of growing on my own for a while, yet, this experience brought to light many of my fears and uncertainties about expressing what's in my heart. So, we offered advice to each other. I shared with her the passage and the quote from the Buddha, which I posted in my previous blog. And she shared with me about a book called, If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path by Charlotte Kas. I haven't read this book, though I intend to soon. One of the things my friend shared with me is that it is essential to share our needs and wants with a potential (or present) partner or love interest, in other words, to risk and lay it all on the line. And, she said we must share our heart, share what we are feeling. Yikes! That's the one where I start to feel fear. So, I found this excerpt on Amazon.com as I was looking for the book. This is really powerful. There's a song I recently downloaded on iTunes called The Subject Tonight is Love by Chintan and Prem Joshua from the album Ahir. It's a Yoga tune, with drum beats but it has a few spoken words in it. The song begins by saying:

"The subject tonight is Love. And for tomorrow night as well. As a matter of fact I know of no better topic for us to discuss until we all die."

Wow, seems we've arrived to the point of our destination, our heart, which is really the true beginning of our Spiritual journey, a journey without end, only Infinite potential. Before I share the book review, I would like to share this bit of information which I found while researching information online about the Heart Chakra.

"Many metaphysical schools of thought espouse or imply that the fifth, sixth and seventh chakras (with some even teaching that there are one or more chakras that are located above or outside the body) are more important to spiritual evolution than the Heart Chakra.

However, it is the Heart Chakra that is the most important chakra for soul development because it is the spiritual center in the body that is utilized for the cultivation of LOVE and COMPASSION, and therefore dictates the overall evolution of the individual. This is evidenced by the fact that whenever we feel COMPASSION for another, we feel it in the heart area of the body."

OK, and now the review from the If Buddha Dated book. Enjoy!

Her definition of a spiritual journey is the path we take to be who we truly are, without pretense or attempts to please lovers, family members, or other authority figures. We come to learn that we can love and be loved best by being who we truly are, showing our vulnerability and our humanity, while still expecting to be treated with consideration, compassion, and kindness.
Early in the book, she states, "on the spiritual path, the purpose of any relationship is to wake up and get to know ourselves and our lover, thoroughly, without judgment or pride." And, "Dating with a Buddhist consciousness means a willingness to confront anything inside that kindles fear or anxiety. When we start wanting to run away, be deceptive, tell lies, or put on a mask, we need to walk right into our fears, sit down, and talk to them until they become our friends. That doesn't mean we have a goal of getting rid of fear; rather we accept it as part of our unfolding journey." I couldn't agree more.

Her lists of behaviors for us to examine in our partners and ourselves are excellent and straightforward. A close examination of what we want and what we have to offer, our values and our desires, all play into what makes relationships work or not. She says, "True commitment is born of knowledge. We can't say yes to what we don't know."

Her list of questions to explore with your partner before becoming sexual (page 126) are excellent. So much worthy of quoting that I suggest you simply BUY this book. A little jewel.

I look forwrad to sharing more with you soon about the semi-private Yoga classes I will be offering from my home space, as well as, about the upcoming retreat to the Adirondacks this summer. It's going to be during the Summer Solistice, June 19-23, which is an intensely powerful time of the year to go through a life-enhancing experience like this. I hope you will be able to join me!Read more

Om Namah Shivaya Gurave
I offer myself to the goodness within my heart, the eternal teacher

Satchidananda Murtaye
Whose nature is Supreme Consciousness and pulsates with the greatest joy imaginable

Nishprapanchaya Shantaya
Who is always present and full of peace

Niralambaya Tejase
Whose essence is completely free from limitation and sparkles with divine luminosity

Well, I made it with the ever-renewing Goodness of God's Grace and Light. And it's brighter on the other side I'm standing in now. (I actually like my place better, for now, without all the furniture in it.) I feel tremendously relieved and renewed. The sickness I went through was a healing and purging of the hurt, the tension, the stress I've been going through on every level of my Being over the past several months. I didn't realize how much fear was lurking beneath the surface, keeping me frozen from real growth as I stayed wrapped up in a blanket in my comfortable circumstances. This was one of the main reasons why I knew I needed to release the relationship I was in for the past year and a half. Part of what had me choose the relationship, was a fear of being on my own. For me to be able to choose the spiritual partner who is right for me, I knew I would need to make that choice from an emotionally healthy, not needy, place. So, that is a big part of the growth I am up to now. I already feel so much stronger and better. It's as though the sickness brought me into the depth of my weakness, so I can discover the height of my strength.

I imagine this strength will be reflected in my Yoga practice, and can only wonder what growth and transformation awaits me. One of my Asana dreams is to be able to go from Bakasana (Crow Pose) into Adho Mukha Vrkasana (Handstand). I dream of being able to grow into this place in the year ahead and look forward to realizing the alignment that is necessary within my body, mind and spirit to be able to receive this positive change.

Speaking of finding a spiritual partner, I received this e-mail today from Omega. I love the way Gary Zukav and Linda Francis describe themselves as being spiritual partners.

"Gary Zukav and Linda Francis are in their 15th year of spiritual partnership. Popular teachers at Omega, they are coauthors of two New York Times best-sellers, The Heart of the Soul and The Mind of the Soul, and cofounded the Seat of the Soul Institute."

They are putting on a series of workshop this year at Omega in Rhinebeck, NY, specifically about creating spiritually empowered relationships, both with our own Self and with a significant other. I also love the description of this workshop called Relationships and the Spiritual Path.

"Join Gary Zukav and Linda Francis in this experiential workshop that shows you how to change your relationships into partnerships between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth.

To grow spiritually now requires relationships of substance and depth. This workshop shows you how to use your relationships to grow spiritually and transform your interactions into the most meaningful encounters possible.

We are naturally attracted to harmony, cooperation, sharing, and reverence for life, but when we strive to create them, we encounter parts of our personalities that prevent us. Each of these encounters is an experience of the wise and compassionate universe responding to our intention to create in the most positive way. When you recognize your painful emotions—such as anger, jealousy, anxiety, and vengefulness—as opportunities to develop humbleness, clarity, forgiveness, and love, you begin to utilize them to grow spiritually, and that requires courage. Nowhere is this more evident (sometimes painfully evident) than in our relationships.

Couples and individuals both will find this weekend a priceless opportunity to alter forever your view of relationships."

I believe just like our Yoga practice, a healthy, spiritually conscious relationship requires diligent cultivation. I look forward to cultivating that relationship more and more deeply, first with mySelf, and then one day, experiencing the awesomeness of that journey with a God-given, spiritually aligned, partner.

The following excerpt is from "Lovingkindness" by Sharon Salzberg. I shared this at the Partners Thai Yoga workshop I held at exhale dallas last weekend. The focus of the workshop, besides learning Partner Yoga stretches, was on awakening and healing the Heart Chakra. The Buddhist practice of metta, or lovingkindness, is the practice of the Golden Rule, or as it's known in Christianity as, "loving your neighbor as you love yourself."

"Love can go anywhere. Nothing can obstruct it. "I Am That," a book of dialogues with Nisargadatta Maharaj, includes an exchange between Nisargadatta and a man who complained a great deal about his mother. The man felt that she had not been a very good mother and was not a good person. At one point, Nisargadatta advised him to love his mother. The man replied, "She wouldn't let me." Nisargadatta responded, "She couldn't stop you."

The Pali word metta has two root meanings. One is the word for "gentle." Metta is likened to a gentle rain that falls upon the earth. This rain does not select and choose--"I'll rain here, and I'll avoid that place over there." Rather, it simply falls without discrimination.
The other root meaning for metta is "friend." To understand the power or the force of metta is to understand true friendship. The Buddha actually described at some length what he meant by being a good friend in the world. He talked about a good friend as someone who is constant in our times of happiness and also in our times of adversity or unhappiness. A friend will not forsake us when we are in trouble nor rejoice in our misfortune.

The practice of metta, uncovering the force of love that can uproot fear, anger, and guilt, begins with befriending ourselves. The foundation of metta practice is to know how to be our own friend. According to the Buddha, "You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." How few of us embrace ourselves in this way! With metta practice, we uncover the possibility of truly respecting ourselves. We discover, as Walt Whitman put it, "I am larger and better than I thought. I did not think I held so much goodness."
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Happy Valentine's Day...

I am still under-the-weather. It's hard to believe...but as this week has progressed I have become clearer and clearer about the root causes of my sickness. The last time I can remember feeling this weak was in October of 2005, when I closed my Yoga studio. Of course, it is through our weakness which we realize our strength. This is one of the profound lessons I learned from that experience and my Yoga practice continues to remind me of on a daily basis. We grow strong in the poses by becoming conscious of the places where we feel weak. And, it's ok to not always feel strong. I haven't admitted the magnitude of the change I am going through until now. I've never been married or been through a divorce, but considering we owned a place together, this feels as though it must be somewhat like that. Most of the things in our place were not my posessions. At the time we met, I was seriously considering a move to Asia to teach with Pure Yoga, so I had let go of most of my "stuff" in light of that. So, after my ex moves out this weekend, I will have very few things in my condo. It's scary to let go of things, even though they are just things. Speaking of that previous post about wanting to spend time in an Ashram, I suppose this degree of nothingness will be a tiny glimpse of what life in an Ashram might be like...

Of course, I could rush out and get more "stuff." But, I'm choosing not to right now. I actually think we are going to offer some semi-private classes in my downstairs living area. Hey, when life gives you lemons, make lemonade, or a Yoga studio. A couple of fellow Yoga friends want the opportunity to practice and teach and I've envisioned having small classes here. I am really longing for connection and community right now. This is the bigger Heart I am opening myself up to, instead of just experiencing this deep connection with one person. I am wanting to feel that love and connection, loving my neighbor as I love myself, with more people in my life than just a few close friends, family members and significant other. As I release this past relationship, I must say I have felt more supported this week while I have been sick by so many different people in my life, some new connections, some old. So, that community and support is there for us if we just open ourselves up to it. The following is an awesome reflection for this day of Heart awareness...

As we expand, we melt. Our hearts open. Our thinking changes. Our obsessions subside, our addictions quietly pass away. This is the slow, elegant, loving process through which, little by little, we let go of the old and welcome the new. We open our hearts and allow in a few more people, just a few more relationship experiences, just a few more kinds of relationships. We learn there are no mistakes, and our hearts become a circle so large that there are no more boundaries, no differences, no judgments. We know the graciousness of that great undivided familiarity, in which there are no more strangers, only friends.

We stretch, and to our amazement we don't break. Instead, we grow. Suddenly, everything becomes easier, and our hearts, which once we believed could love only one person, or were battered so badly we thought they could never love again, expand so fully that the whole world is welcome. In such a state of openness, we see that we've only forgotten how to be together, we faintly and beautifully remember that once we were all together. We remember the way we were in a universe of incredible softness where there were no edges, no walls, no mind games, no rules. In that incredible world, we were happy. We loved one another. It wasn't a feeling. It was a state of being called joy.

The future of love is this all-encompassing embrace. For when we have expanded so much, we will finally arrive at a place where the heart can open its doors to everything and everyone. Our souls have been taking us on this journey and Love is the magnificent destination to which they have been leading us. Now we can feel joy. Now, at last, we can be satisfied. Now, finally, we are home.

-Daphne Rose Kingma

In Yoga, our Heart Center is called Anahata Chakra which means the Unstruck Note. The following is from a website called Mind Body & Soul. I love how it describes the Heart Chakra and its importance, as well as, the essentialness of awakening to a healthy relationship with our heart.

"We have now reached the halfway point in our journey of discovery concerning the seven main chakras of the body. Anahata, our fourth chakra, sits just over our heart and keeps our bodies and minds in balance.

To keep the bottom three chakras (which are connected to the external physical world) balanced with the top three chakras (which are connected to the internal, mental and spiritual world) all you need is love. And Anahata is a huge reservoir just waiting to be tapped.

The heart chakra is often associated with the colours green and pink. For this reason, jade and rose quartz are worn by people looking for balance in their fourth chakra. This chakra vibrates to the musical note F.

It is associated with the element air and symbolised by two triangles placed over each other; one pointing up, the other down. This signifies the interlinking role Anahata has regarding our spiritual and physical natures.

Anahata governs the heart, hands, lungs, shoulders, breast, thymus, oesophagus and the circulatory system of the physical body. Blockages in this chakra can manifest themselves as diseases in these parts. The heart chakra records and stores emotional information regarding the people we love; therefore, emotionally hurtful experiences can often trigger physical symptoms in body parts associated with this energy wheel.

Have you ever known someone who gets an asthma attack if they are emotionally upset? This is probably due to Anahata closing itself up a bit. Heart problems and immunity problems are connected to Anahata also. If you have unresolved childhood hurts, it is best to deal with these for a healthy Anahata. The hurt inner child takes refuge in the heart chakra.

Anahata is often seen as the seat of the spirit. The spiritual lessons Anahata wants to teach us are about compassion, forgiveness, trust and unconditional love. A fourth chakra that is too open will lead a person into being too giving; generous to a fault. If it is too closed, it may lead a person into lacking compassion and empathy. One needs to strike the perfect balance between self-love and the love of others.

There are many yoga postures one can practise to balance Anahata; for example, cobra and fish. These open and energise Anahata.

Anahata is the fulcrum upon which our emotional and physical wellbeing balances. If the scales are tipped too far in either direction, our mind, body and spirit may be at odds with each other. So find the balance in your heart and let your love run free."

You can read about other Chakras on the Mind Body & Soul website, too.

May you know the fullest potential of your hearts ability to give and receive love and may your love run free... Read more

I'm sorry to say I'm feeling "under-the-weather." I rarely feel ill, so I suppose it's my time to really slow down and be with everything I've been going through during this stressful and emotional time of a relationship separation. It's funny how some part of me, as a Yoga Instructor, feels a little ashamed to admit I experience stress...I guess I tell myself I'm supposed to be the one who knows how to handle and deal with stressful situations so they do not affect me negatively, and then, of course, enlighten others how to do the same. It's a nice thought, but it simply isn't reality. I cannot remember one time I've been sick, since I began practicing Yoga and cultivating emotional awareness, that I haven't felt that the sickness was directly related to something I was dealing with emotionally. Even now, I know the sickness I'm feeling is not just physical, but a manifestation of something happening with me on the emotional/energetic/mental and spiritual plane. Everytime I find myself in the place of illness, it is because I haven't been allowing myself to fully be with and feel what I'm going through, but instead, have been operating from survival or flight-or-fight mode...

Speaking of this, if you've never heard of Louise Hay, she recently appeared on Oprah last week. I first read her book, You Can Heal Your Life, about five years ago when I had just started practicing Yoga. My Yoga teacher recommended it to me. Louise Hay healed from cancer and believes every kind of disorder, or disease, we experience from the common cold, to acne, to cancer and everything in between, is caused by an emotional blockage or tension which causes DIS-ease. She prescribes the use of affirmations to help heal ourselves from whatever we are struggling with emotionally, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. You can read some of the DIS-eases and their prescried affirmations here.

And, speaking of Oprah, her new Book Club Book of the Month is A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle. Oprah and Eckhart Tolle are offeirng an exclusive online class about this best-selling book which you can register for online. The FREE class begins March 3rd and it is recommended to read it prior to the start of the class. I will be reading it and look forward to a transformational and enlightening experience.

And, one more thing...the Online Editor of National Geographic Adventure e-mailed me a fascinating story which was just featured in their magazine. It is about a couple's retreat to an Ashram in Kerala, India. The couple went there to deepen their spiritualtiy and to discover the true depth of their relationship and connection. The girlfriend of the article's author was inspired to go to an Ashram in India after reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. I must say, I've always been interested in spending some time at an Ashram in India, but this feeling grew a lot stronger after reading that book...so, I can certainly relate. After transforming through everything I am currently going through in my life, I have wondered if this is the next step for me...to spend some time...a couple weeks or a month in India. Only time and the mysterious unfolding of the Flow will reveal the way to go. I'll talk to you again soon...

Namaste!

p.s.-Here's an excerpt from the National Geographic Article:

"In ancient India, ashrams—a name derived from a Sanskrit term meaning "religious exercise"—were cloisters set in nature where swamis, or sages, sought spiritual enlightenment through, among other sacred disciplines, the practice of yoga. Over the centuries these swamis began hosting commoners seeking spiritual instruction. Ashram life remained primarily an Indian phenomenon until after World War II, when Allen Ginsberg, Timothy Leary, and others began blazing the '60s Hippie Trail across Central Asia. But it was in 1968, after the Beatles retreated to an ashram in Rishikesh, on the banks of the Ganges, that the ashram concept shot straight into the Western mainstream. By the '70s terms such as "ashram," "guru," and "karma" had become commonplace in the West, and yoga an accepted form of exercise. Today tens of thousands travel annually to ashrams in India. Some of these retreats are little more than sex clubs with stretching, while others, like the one Mara and I had come to, offer no-frills yogic beatdowns. And that's what I reminded Mara while we huddled under the rosewood tree. This love test was her idea, and if we were ever going to be "drenched in spirituality," this had to be the place. Plus, we had nonrefundable airline tickets."
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I was planning on going to sleep, but the urge to blog has been with me all day. So, here I am, expressing myself through cyberspace to clear my inner space.

Let's see, it might be easier to write about what's not going on since it seems like everything is going on right now. My ex-partner moved out of our place last Friday. This is a great transformation as the space between us was only causing the pain to be exacerbated, no matter how much we tried to make it go away. As a result of this major life change, I am going through many Unknown places, healing from this experience and awakening to the new possibilities being born from within my spirit. I am growing and becoming stronger and I am grateful to be going through this change no matter how challenging it has been at times. The Grace of God shines brightly upon all things, from the depth of pain to the height of joy and every place in between. I am learning to feel this Grace and to know it in my heart more and more deeply...

I will have the opportunity to meet one of my nephews this Wednesday! My twin nephews were born two months premature on New Year's Eve and have been in the neonatal unit ever since. Visitation has been restricted to the parents (my brother and hiw wife) and grandparents (our mom and dad and her mom and dad.) So, I have not been able to see them yet. My other nephew will have to stay in the neonatal unit for a few more days at least, but everything is looking good for him to arrive home soon. I am looking forward to meeting them and my heart feels joyous to grow to know these two beautiful souls.

Hmmmmm....let's see...what else. I attended a Yoga workshop with Dave Oliver yesterday. What a great teacher! We talked about the practice not being about the poses, though it's easy to get obsessed with thinking the poses are all that matter. In reality, the sages and Yogis of 9,000 years ago initiated the practice of the poses as preparation for Pranayama (breath expansion and control.) Through control of the breath they were able to correctly practice and recite the Yoga Sutras, which in turn, prepares one for the practice of Dhyana (Meditation) and, through these gates, he/she awakens to the realization of the final stage of the eight-limbed path (Ashtanga) of Yoga called Samadhi (Bliss.)

These are three of the Yoga Sutras which are really important to recite. They are to be recited in Mantra, meaning not just spoken, but chanted or sung.

II.29 - Yama-niyamasana-pranayama-pratyahara-dharana-dhyana-samadhayo 'stav angani

Which, translated means:

The eight limbs are: universal ethics, personal ethics, physical postures, breath regulation, withdrawal of the senses, concentration, meditation and samadhi.

II.30 - ahimsa-satyasteya-brahmacaryaparigraha yamah
The five universal ethics are: non-violence, truthfulness, non-stealing, moderation, and non-coveting.

II.32 - sauca-santosa-tapah-svadhyayesvara-pranidhanani-niyamah
The five personal ethics are: cleanliness, contentment, intensity, self-study and surrender to the Universal/God.

Dave said we should chant these every day. Chanting is about resonating with one's intention. I can see why it is powerful to recite the intention of the practice and the principals with which it is essential to be aligned with in order to awaken to one's Highest Good/Truth.

And, I'm also really excited because I will be attending another training with Shiva Rea this March 4 - 10. This will complete my 200 hours of study with her. Of course there are other components to fulfilling the certification such as self-study or svadhyayesvara which requires reading different books, but, my hours of classroom study will be fulfilled with this training. Her teachings have made such a powerful and positive impact on my life. I can hardly imagine what will ignite and awaken from my time with her this Spring.

I feel blessed. Even in the difficult moments. Some of you from time-to-time have posted a comment to one of my posts and it means a great deal to me to feel your connection and a sense of community even through the great wide world of cyberspace. We've all heard this blessing, I'm guessing, but it's one which never grows old to me. It just came flowing through as I was getting ready to sign off. Until next time...

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.Read more