(Picture of Shiva Rea...click to enlarge.)

It's interesting to experience what's opening up in my Yoga classes. I've had this whole reconnection with my youth thing going on. I really believe Yoga opens up our connection to our youthfulness. I'm finding myself playing these songs in class simply because it feels good in the moment, so it works. I loved Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers back in the day. Recently, I've played a Tom Petty song here or there...and when I play it, or any song I feel that connection to...it feels so good that sometimes I'll sing. It's awesome.

So, I've been going through the emotional roller-coaster of life...so to speak. For the most part I find myself feeling consistently well, content, happy. But, there are moments where I realize I'm not feeling the intensity of my experience, especially given everything going on with my dad. Just today, I noticed how I've been giving almost all of my energy to another situation, but beneath the surface of everything, dwells these unfelt feelings about everything going on with my dad. It's interesting how life inevitably slows us down and makes us feel our feelings...one way or another. What's really beneath the surface of all of the stimulation/excitement we're covering everything up with? For me...it's a feeling of heaviness...when I go into the depth of the feelings I'm experiencing about my dad. I mean, there are so many feelings, it really is the full rainbow of emotions related to my father having cancer. And, it's not that I need to dwell there, but I certainly need to be conscious of what is.

But, I'm not afraid to feel it...as my first Yoga teacher said...feeling is healing. And, the Lightness shines brighter on the other side when we are authentic with ourselves, our experience.

On a lighter note...I'll be heading out to L.A. again in July for another training with Shiva called Embodying the Flow. Perhaps one of the greatest gifts in my life, over the past year, is to feel the mentoring and guidance of a true Yogic Master. She is the embodiment of Yoga. I feel her Presence guiding me all the time...and, I mean, she is fricking beautiful. Her natural beauty and Grace inspires and transforms all of those who are blessed to be connected to her. Through studying with her I've learned, as Michael Franti says in his song, that "I know I'm not alone."

And, let's see, what else. Well, I'm single again so I'm learning a lot about opening my heart, even though sometimes it's scary and painful. But, it's always worth it. The only way anything can flow is with an open, free heart... This poem by Hafiz, though, has been particularly powerful for me in those moments when I've felt the feeling of loneliness...which seems to still creep in every once and a while. So, I hope you find it meaningful to you... Peace...

Don't surrender your loneliness
So quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human
Or even divine ingredients can.
Something missing in my heart tonight
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice
So tender,
My need of God
Absolutely
Clear.

-HafizRead more

So, let's see...what's new...

Hmmmm... Well, I will be taking this weekend off from teaching Yoga to rest and restore. I feel like I'm doing well, given the emotional intensity of the experience I'm growing through right now with my dad. In the moments when I'm just sitting and being, like right now for the most part, I can really feel the emotional impact of what I'm experiencing.

Something amazing happened...well actually a couple of things, really. Last Wednesday night I was sitting in my bed watching the Soul Series Webcast on Oprah.com. She was talking with Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard-trained brain scientist who 'suffered' from a stroke when a blood vessel exploded in her brain. I put quotations around the word suffer because it seems as though she really didn't suffer at all. In fact, the experience was profoundly enlightening and transformational for her. She remained conscious the whole time when her left hemisphere of her brain 'went out.' She has written about her profound spiritual experience in her book, A Stroke of Insight. She believes Nirvana is just a thought away...for all of us. When she had the stroke, her logical side of her brain (left hemisphere) ceased to function and only her right mind was working...this gave her the perception to know she is connected to all that is. I highly suggest watching this webcast, as my writing can not do it justice. But, it's amazing to realize that even fear is only somethig that is generated by a specific place in our brain. That, literally, there are certain cells, in the left hemisphere of the brain, that have the function of transmitting fear. Without the left side of the brain functioning, there is no fear...

While I was watching the webcast, there was a huge storm taking place. As I sat in my bed I heard thunder rumbling, but it sounded like all the lightning was very distant. All of a sudden, lightning struck the tree which is just outside my bedroom doors...literally about 10-15 feet away. I have never been this close to lightning striking in my life! It was incredibly scary...I thought my roof was going to crash in...and I really wasn't even sure what had happened at first. I mean, I knew lightning had struck something, but I didn't know what. It was fascinating because I saw this orange glow right when it happened. And, the fear, but also power, that surged through my heart was intense...unlike anything I've ever experienced. In daylight the next morning, I could see it had struck the tree. Bark was scattered all around the ground, so I saved a piece of the bark that had been struck off.

When I spoke with one of my meditation teachers the next morning, he said "That's a sign...that's the Universe telling you something." I replied to him, "Ah, ya, I know...I got it...it doesn't have to tell me again." So, what did it mean? When it happened I had been thinking about something...a situation I had been involved in that was depleting my energy...in other words, I kept giving my energy away to it. The moment the lightning struck I knew, once I got over the initial fear, that the Universe was telling me to stop thinking about it, giving energy to it, focusing on it. So, I did. I appreciate the signs, as shocking as they may be at times. Sometimes we do need that drastic of a wake-up call when we aren't listening.

So, then I was watching a video of Puppetji yesterday. This video is really hilarious. Everyone should know about Puppetji. I mean, think how much we learned from Sesame Street and from those puppets. Well, I know I did...that was one of my favorite shows. Mr. Rogers was good stuff, too. So, check this out. You will laugh...but, if you take class with me, I would appreciate it if you don't take his advice about punching your Yoga teacher. Just a request. But, also, check out how when he says "Stop it" there's thunder and lightning that rumbles. So, my conclusion is that when lightning strikes, it's the Universal sign for Stop It. As cool as it was, I think, next time, I'll do my best to listen before it has to get that loud. If I don't post before the weekend...Happy Memorial Day! Read more

You make me horny, baby...eh hem...I mean, Guru Pitka. LOL. I mean, I'm really not kidding...Mike Myers as a Guru does turn me on. Is that weird? I would definitely date him if I could. Oh well, I don't think he's available.

So, you know his production company told me if I posted something about Mike Myers' new movie, The Love Guru, where he stars as The Guru Pitka, they would forward it on to the Guru Pitka (Myers) himself. So, here it is. How will I know if he reads it though? If you really do read this, your Holiness, will you leave us a comment with some thread of your knowlege? A sutra, if you will? Shine your enlightenment upon us, we are true seekers...

My favorite part of The Guru Pitka website is the part where he has the Mini Sutras...HILARIOUS. Check out the 1st Law of Happiness: Self Knowledge. He says Mariska Hargitay, Mariska Hargitay as a mantra. So, after I first watched the website, I literally sat down to meditate and, all of a sudden, the mantra Mariska Hargitay started coming through...I was like...what the heck...are you kidding me. So funny. It was actually a pretty soothing mantra, though. So check out the website, you will laugh a lot.

And, the movie premieres June 20th. I'm planning on going with a group of people from Yoga class, and elsewhere, to see it. (Unless, of course, upon reading this, His Holiness, The Guru Pitka, is so moved that he decides to invite me to the movie premiere. ;) ) Then, I would have to humbly decline to see the movie with my friends here...and make my way to the Lotus Feet of the beloved Guru wherever the premiere is...L.A. maybe?

OK, that's enough. So, I thought I would leave you with a little excerpt from Paramahansa Yogananda's book: How to Be Happy All the Time which is similar, yet different, to The Guru Pitka's book: If You're Happy and You Know It Think Again.

"Never can I thank my teacher enough for constantly saying to me, "Learn to behave."

I discovered I could see myself reflected more clearly through others' minds, especially through my Master's unprejudiced mind, than through my own hazy understanding.

I began to associate with calm minds and to ask them how I looked from their mental perceptions, for I found there was a difference between what I thought others thought of me and what others actually thought of me in their inner minds.

It takes a lot of courage to risk a word battle, or other trouble, just for telling people their faults. That is why most people are afraid to criticize you to your face. Most people bite you behind your back and silently criticize you in their own minds.

Your intimate friends do not criticize you openly for fear of offending you; but they criticize you inwardly, as you do them. If you want to know what your friends think about you, behave perfectly and keep constantly improving yourself by being unselfish, wise, calm, meditative, fearless, sweet, sincere, courteous, methodical, true to your word, and unafraid to be firm, and your friends will be so overwhelmed by your goodness that they will think, and talk loudly, about what you are.

Learn to make yourself behave and be happy, and you will influence all the people you meet to be well behaved and happy." -Paramahansa Yogananda

"Oh, behave!" See. Mr. Myers has been enlightening us all along...

Peace...Read more

(Picture of Randy Pausch, (not my dad.))

Little darling...here comes the blog...and I said, it's alright...

So, how is everyone out in cyberspace? OK, first I have to tell a funny story about the unlimited potential of mindlessness.

This really happened to me. Every once and a while, I imagine these "things" will stop happening, but the wheel just seems to keep turning and turning and turning, and...

So, last week in Yoga class, one of the students invited me to his 60th birthday party. He's been attending Yoga with me for the past year and a half and it's been amazing to witness each other's transformation through the self-reflecting mirror of our connection/consciousness...

I thought when he gave me the invitation he said the party was this past weekend. He actually gave me two invitations, so I figured it would be fun to bring someone with me. I meditated about it and decided to bring a friend of mine who is on one of the local television stations in Dallas. (It's funny that you know this just so you know he and I don't really know each other that well.) I know him from my appearances in Yoga segments on that station.

I thought it would be a great idea to invite him because it would open us up to a new "pathway of flow" as Shiva would say. Something different, something unusual, something out of the ordinary, i.e. box. So, the day before the party I e-mailed him and asked him if he had plans for Saturday night. He informed me he didn't, and so we made the plans to go to this party together.

Saturday night came, and he came to my house and we went to the party. When we got to the guard house, the guard seemed confused about the party we were talking about. After a few moments, she called their house to see if they were, in fact, having a party. No answer. So, she asked me, "Are you sure the party is tonight?" "Um, no." I said. So, she looks at the invitation I had handed her and she says, "It's not until May 10th." "Oh...great....thanks!" I replied.

Moral of the story. Was I embarassed? For like, one moment, which was probably one moment too long. Of course I laughed it off and pretended not to be. "Well, what do you want to do?" The funny part is, the night which I had "planned" not to be "a date" with my friend...ended up being a sort of "date" because I was mindless and didn't know "the date" of the party I was going to. Not coincidentally, it had just so happened to be his birthday the day before, and I didn't even know it. So, the party mishap, turned into a spontaneous (sahaja) birthday celebration with/for my friend. You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you find you get what you need. Amen.

We ended up grabbing a bite to eat, and then we went to this sushi restaurant in Dallas, Sushi Sapporo, gotta give it props, it was great times, and we sang karaoke. It was slightly tortorous being at a sushi restauarant considering I haven't eaten any fish since the middle of March....phhheewww...it's been a little intense. I'm learning a lot about breathing into this release.

Anyway, it was an awesome evening. I had the best time being mindless and spontaneous...I highly recommend it. Innocent mindlessness is just that...innocent. So, let your mind go...relax...breathe...do whatever you need to do to enjoy life...as long as it's in moderation most of the time. Once in a while, we're bound to slip a little, it happens. Maybe it's kind of like when we were kids...when we think we've slipped, we're actually sliding...remember that thing... Slip n' Slide? It's funny...because I loved that thing...remember? The yellow banana looking thing you put in the backyard and ran your garden hose over? Then, you would run...excuse me..."balls-to-the wall" and slide your ass off as far as you could. That was great stuff. And, the interesting thing, was I only liked it at certain places. Actually, ironically enough, one of my childhood friends who I haven't talked to in almost ten years, just reconnected with me. I liked it at his house, in his backyard. That's one of the only places I can really remember enjoying it that much. And, I think it had nohting to do with the "Slip n' Slide" it had everything to do with who I was slipping and sliding with. Wow, life is a miracle when we realize how sweet it is, the love that's been in our life since we breathed our first breath, and even before. I mean, that's been something I've been realizing...how important it is that our mother, and father, (if he happened to be there,) sent us loving energy and vibrations when we were in the womb. Some children aren't blessed with this love and affection from the moment of conception. They don't always know it in their immediate family. No wonder why Jesus taught the essential teaching of loving our neighbor as we love ourself. This is the only truth which will bring healing to the planet.

So, I have some knews to share. At first, I thought it might be a really heavy post. Then, I remembered over the past couple of day, God is so amazing. Every hardship we face is really his Grace disguised. It becomes visible to us when we accept our situation or reality. And, it requires faith to accept what we are given. When we invest our hearts in loving the One who loved us into existence, we realize that Love is eternally with us.

Jesus said to him, “‘you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 22:37 – 40)

And, so, I've learned I must be authentic. It can be scary to be authentic, at times, because what if people don't have your best interest at heart? And, at the same time, I believe, when we follow the teachings of Jesus, or ultimately, of Universal Law, then we are taken care of beyond our wildest dreams. It is all Good...because it is all a dream. ;)

I found out this past Monday that my father, who had his kidney removed almost two years ago,(with a tumor in it) was diagnosed with having "spots" on his lungs. I have already been enlightened by the Grace of God, his unyielding and unconditional love, in more ways than I could have ever imagined in the past 48 hours. This diagnosis is not negative news. It is the opportunity for awakening, as Eckhart Tolle talks about in A New Earth, when we accept the return movement we will all make in our life.

Have I cried? Yes, a lot. In fact, just writing this right now brings tears to my eyes and a swelling over of love and emotion in my heart . I didn't teach today at all. I couldn't. And, I'm writing this right now because I can't sleep at the moment. Yesterday, I taught three classes...miraculously...in my first two classes I was blessed with the incredible opportunity to share my experience with the class. This was one of the most healing experiences I've ever known...to be this open...this authentic...this in the moment with mySelf and with their Self.

Two years ago when my dad had his kidney removed, I was not comfortable enough with mySelf to be able to communicate openly with my father about his experience. I mean, yes, of course we talked when he was in the hospital, the day of the operation, but leading up to it, I held back, I suppose I was intimidated and scared by the whole thing.

I'm realizing one of the most healing forces available to us, beyond breath and stillness, is communion, i.e. communication with one another, from that connected place called Presence. When we are fully present, i.e. not consumed with fear, anxiety, insecurity, etc., etc. we literally open ourselves up to the Grace of God. Resist not and accept all. That reminds me of the Rumi poem which I have to post. Before I post that, I want to share something with you from Oprah. It's been incredible to witness her transformation as she's grown through this experience with reading and studying A New Earth, and sitting in Satsang with Eckhart Tolle for 10 weeks. I've watched each episode...it's incredible. She featured a short segment on today's show about Randy Pausch.

I'm sure you are familiar with Randy Pausch, a popular professor at Carnegie Mellon University. When this 47 year old husband and father of 3, learned he was dying of pancreatic cancer, Randy gave his last lecture which became an internet sensation viewed by millions around the globe. His lecture, "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams" became the #1 best selling book in the United States, called, "The Last Lecture."

"I am dying soon. And, I am choosing to have fun today, tomorrow and every day I have left. Because if you lead your life the right way, the Karma will take care of itself. The dreams will come to you." - Randy Pausch

(Interesting, that my father, and his brother, both attended Carnegie Mellon.)

My favorite quote from this episode of Oprah today was actually by Dr. Oz. (No, I don't watch Oprah every day, just in moments of Divine timing.)

"The biggest lesson of all, for I think a lot of us who've gotten to know you through your work and the great book, is that hope is not about a good outcome... Hope is about making sense about what's going on in life. Randy, you shined a very bright light on a deep, narrow, dark ravine we have to go through at the end of our lives. That beautiful part of our human existence we often forget about. Thank you for that." - Dr. Oz

“And now these three remain:
faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” - I Corinthians 13:13

Phhheewwww....ok, I'm think I'm going to sign off for the night, before I get washed away by my tears. Thank you, Heavenly Father, both in the Manifest and Unmanifest, the Physical and Spiritual, the Eternal and Paternal, for all the blessings you bestow and have bestowed upon my life. I humbly bow to You.

Namaste...

p.s.- stay tuned for a blog about The Guru Pitka...may we each awaken to the Guru within us...Read more