Well, I made it through the move. I felt a sense of urgency to update my blog today. Yesterday, I was speaking with someone who attends classes with me and she was saying another fellow Yogini friend, who had read my previous post (but only partially) where I mentioned I was moving, thought I meant I was moving out of the country to India. Screech...halt...I am not moving to India.
I have happily moved into a new place in Lakewood and I love where I am living. I intend to be here, in Dallas, as long as possible, growing, thriving and evolving with this sacred community. Making this change was incredibly challenging for me because I have needed to find strength and courage within myself to face my fears and to trust in the Flow. In the past, most of the life-changing decisions I made were with the support of a partner, so it didn't feel as scary. Although I am seeing someone who is an incredible and loving energy in my life, I am working and practicing to be strengthened from within, rather than needing someone to hold my hand through it all. Or, to catch me if I fall. I am seeking the support of the Universe to guide me and srengthen me for the first time ever and I am trusting it to be with me each step of the way.

As I write this, I just glanced at my travel altar of SRF gurus that I take with me wherever I go, when I am staying away from home. In the picture above, the gentleman at the top left is Lahiri Mahasaya who was the teacher of Paramahansa Yogananda's parents. The man just below him is Mahavatar Babaji, who was Lahiri's guru. To the right of the lotus flower is Yogananda and to the right of Yogananda is his guru, Sri Yukteswar. Of course the last two pictures are Jesus Christ at the top and Bhagavan Krishna at the bottom. Just as in Christianity, Jesus Christ is believed to be the holy incarnation of God, or the Son of God. However, SRF also respects Krishna as being a Divine incarnation as well, and the avatar to the East. And, it teaches us that God, or the Holy Spirit is within each of us. We are not separate from Divine Consciousness, but only in our minds, or because of the veil of illusion (maya) that exists through the 5 senses. It is the 5 senses which keep us earthbound, or attached to the physical reality of our existence, continuously seeking illusory and temporary pleasures, which only result in temporary fulfillment, and therefore, pain. So when one prays to the SRF gurus, they pray to the teachers in the following order: "Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, Bhagavan Krishna, Mahavatar Babaji, Lahiri Mahasaya, Sri Yukteswar, Guru preceptor Paramahansa Yogananda, saints and sages of all religions, I humbly bow to you all. Free my life of all obstacles of delusion and lead me to the shores of Thy fulfillment." Of course this is only one prayer, you could ask for anything you are seeking to realize, and one not need to say all these names.

Last night as I was meditating, I had an awareness come to me. True joy can only come from non-attachment to anything material in our physical reality. If we are attached to something materialistically, there is a fear of loss that drives that attachment and when we have any fear within us about losing anything physical, we can not fully know the experience of joy, which is beyond the grasp of the senses. In fact, joy can not even authentically exist in the face of fear. So, I am realizing I am being awakened in many ways through my recent experiences. And, I am always grateful for the spiritual realizations which come through this blessed practice of Yoga. When I say Yoga I am not referring to poses, but uniting our Will with the Will of God-Universal Will, in other words, going with or embodying the Flow in all aspects of our life.

One of the things I am so happy about is this cleanse I am on this week. Some of you may be familiar with the Master Cleanser. I am not rigorously following this cleanse, but I am drinking some of the lemonade which is made from lemons, maple syrup and cayenne pepper. I recently found out, thanks to a fellow Yogi from Pizza Hut, that a powdered form of this can be purchased at Whole Foods, so I have been using this. For my cleanse, I am also drinking Raw Chocolate, vegetable broth, and when I must have a little nourishment, some raw cashews and avocado. I am on day three and plan to continue through Friday. It's been intense in moments, but I feel amazing to be rebalancing and realigning my health after a few stressful weeks preparing for my recent move. Something I also experimented with for the first time, which is prescribed in the Master Cleanser, is a salt water flush. The salt water flush must be done with Sea Salt. This is something Dharma Mittra emphatically recommends as a cleansing practice in Yoga. A salt water flush is an intestinal cleanse. This washing of the intestines has a Sanskrit name, Shankhaprakshalana, as it is a cleansing practice which is thousands of years old. The experience was amazing! I have gotten colonics in the past, but I prefer this greatly over a colonic. It felt natural, whereas a colonic has always felt forced to me. It's always a little awkward talking about this stuff, but I want you to have this information.

When I attended the workshop with Dharma back in March, he repeatedly suggested this practice to us as a way to keep the body optimally healthy and free from disease. He actually said that if he ever found out he had cancer, or any other disease, the first thing he would do is cleanse the colon with a salt water flush. Then, he would cleanse with raw fruits and vegetables, go somewhere relaxing, meditate in Savasana and send the cancer cells love. He said he would say to them, it's either going to be you or both of us, so you better leave. I thought his perception about treating illness was enlightened and ingenious. Even a great master like Yogananda believes in the importance of traditional medicine as a powerful resource. And yet, he would encourage anyone to adhere to personal and spiritual practices for well-being and healing, as well. There is a widespread belief that the root of all disease can be traced back to the colon and that disease begins on our plate. I would suggest researching online for more information if you are interested in doing a cleanse, or feel free to e-mail me, as well. The salt water flush is easy, but is most effective when practiced during a cleanse. It would not be as beneficial to eat a cheeseburger and then flush your colon, only to eat some french fries the next day. Cleansing practices are most beneficial when a purified diet is followed regularly. The salt water flush consists of 1 Quart of warm water mixed with two teaspoons of salt. Plan to clear your schedule for a couple of hours and stay close to a restroom. That's pretty much all I have to say, I think the rest is self-explanatory.

So, as we cleanse away the summer over these next few weeks, may we be grateful for the struggles. There is a song I play in class sometimes, called Wash Your Spirit Clean by Walela. Here are a few of the lyrics which speak to me...

Give away the things you don't need
Let it all go and you'll soon see
And you'll wash your spirit clean
Wash your spirit clean
Go and pray upon a mountain
Go and pray beside the ocean
And you'll wash your spirit clean
Wash Your spirit clean
Be grateful for the struggle
Be thankful for the lessons
And you'll wash your spirit clean Read more

OK, so here's the latest straight from my fingertips.

It turns out I am moving. I've never lived relatively calmly in this degree of uncertainty in my whole life, as far as I can remember. I'm learning to enjoy it.

If I told you what has transpired over the last few days, you might wonder why you are reading or considering what I have to say, simply because I can hardly believe these circumstances have existed in my life. And, I'm totally conscious my circumstances are ridiculously minor in relation to other people's situations in life. But, living without electricity in my condo for three days has been very interesting, and interestingly, enlightening. It's amazing what a little darkness can shed light on and how illuminating it can really be. I am writing you from my girlfriend's house, who has been gracious to let me stay here during this somewhat turbulent time. (Again, globally, it pales in comparison, but there have been some intense growing pains/stretches to breathe into.) What I realize, is I have majorly downplayed this transition I am making in my life. Having ended a relationship about 8 months ago, I essentially experienced going through a major separation. I've never had this experience on a personal level. I experienced this turbulence of separation when I ended my relatioship with my Yoga studio a couple of years ago, but have never experienced the intensity of separation with another person. It seems it does come down to forgiveness, love and compassion with ourselves and with one another, no matter what our situation is in life.

Anyhow, needless to say, life has certainly come up over the last week. It seems anytime I am going through a major transition in my life, this is the case. I'm totally ok with it not being this way, but there seems to be a pattern of 'breakdowns' anytime I go through a major change. Tony Robbins would say a breakdown is really a breakthrough. Or, in the words of Yogananda, "there are no obstacles, there are only opportunities."

So, I am moving this Friday...

Getting on my Yoga mat over the past few weeks, almost month, has been a pretty major feat. I have turned to meditation to see me through these times, as it's been difficult to find the time to phsically practice Asanas. And, I am totally ok with this. It's important to realize, and in fact I believe we ultimately must realize as we grow on this path, that our Asana practice, as beneficial and transformational as it is, is really a vehicle to open us up to deeper stages of connectedness. Eventually, even though still engaging in an Asana practice, we develop into meditation, which is the 7th limb of Astanga Yoga. As stated by Dave Oliver, it is the gateway into Samadhi, or Bliss. It is a gate we must pass through in order to realize this state of existence, or joy eternal, which is beyond the grasp of the senses.

Anyhoo, I will be back post-move. I am grateful to be able to share and express my experiences, it is beyond-believably-therapeutic to be able to open myself up in this way, through writing. Until then, we are in an intense time of transformation and we are ever-awakening to the positivity of our existence. So, breathe into all that is and love what is, as you breathe into it, and yourSELF.

Peace and be well...

All of you, are amazing...thank you for reading, expressing and being here to share in the journey.

p.s.- Even though I've posted this quote before, it never gets old...

"What is to give light must endure burning." - Victor Frankl

Oh ya, if you want to order Chocolate Bliss go to www.loving-foods.com. Read more

So, I really have been embodying the flow since I returned from my training with Shiva Rea.

The uncertainty of what's next in my life has had me feel a great deal of fear in moments. And yet, I have not allowed that fear to paralyze me from taking action, but rather, I have taken action in the face of my fear of the unknown. And, it is all working out ok. I actually signed a 12 month apartment lease, a couple of weeks ago, feeling I was being guided to move. I was planning on moving next Thursday, but just yesterday, I realized it is not the right time for this move to happen. I did feel guided through my meditation and the visions I received to take the steps to move, but the mystery of the Flow is it can guide us one way through blind faith, only to steer us in another direction unexpectedly...

This is why meditation is so important. We have to take the steps we are being guided to take in the face of all of our fears. And only through the stillness can we know that intimate guidance we are being given through the subtle whispers of the Intelligent Flow. Just this past weekend, Tom and Daphne Larkin, of Sanctuary Yoga in Nashville, TN, came to Dallas to give a two-day workshop at exhale spa. I am house sitting for a fellow-yogini friend of mine, Kendall Inman, and they stayed at her house with me while they were here. It was an incredible experience to be able to spend this time with them. They have been studying with Shiva for the past 8 years, and while Daphne Larkin is my assigned mentor through Shiva's Teacher Training Program, Shiva Rea is their direct mentor. We had many wonderful and enlightening conversations while they were here, one of which was about Isvara-pranidhana, or surrender to the Will. So, to embody the flow is to surrender to the Will and this is Yoga. B.K.S. Iyengar describes the very essence of this in his book Light on Yoga. Here is what he writes on the very first page from the chapter entitled, What is Yoga? Although I've written about this before, it seems we can not be reminded enough. These are the very first sentences:

"The word Yoga is derived from the Sanskrit root yuj meaning to bind, join, attach and yoke, to direct and concentrate one's attention on, to use and apply. It also means union or communion. It is the true union of our will with the will of God." - B.K.S. Iyengar

Since returning from the silent meditation retreat at Yogananda's hermitage and ashram in Encinitas, CA, I have realized a new appreciation for silence. There are times when I am talking and I find the words become tiring and I long for the silence. The truth is, we do not need to travel to an ashram to realize the sanctuary of silence and peace which exists within our Being. Sometimes I imagine the possibility of observing one day of silence, at least once-a-month to begin with. Gandhi practiced one day of silence each week, although there's no need to rush into things, the idea of that feels a bit too intense. Perhaps even seasonally would be a good start, although I hope to be able to return to Yogananda's ashram on a regular basis and observe a few days of silence at a time. The experience of eating meals in silence, with a group of people I had never met before, was profoundly enlightening. There were a couple of times that I was brought to tears because it was such a moving experience. It had me remember that I am truly a child of God, and that I am sitting at His/Her table, eating His/Her food, walking on His/Her planet and that none of this is really mine. I'm really just a guest wherever it is I go during the short while I am here.

Oh ya, how could I forget the Chocolate Bliss? Well, I will have to write more in my next post about this. Stay tuned for that!

As we grow through the season of summer, we are in a time of intense change. As I sat in meditation last night, I began to sob as I felt the emotional intensity of the experiences I am growing through, the healing of a past relationship, my father's illness, changes and transformations in my work, the beginning of a new relationship, not knowing what's next, feeling afraid of loss and the fear of change, even though change is the only constant. It was at my training with Shiva, that Shiva spoke to me about spending time feeling the depths of my experience. As I shared with her about my father, she suggested I go down to the beach and sit with myself for a half hour and just wail. When she suggested this, it was hard for me to imagine I would feel that depth of sorrow within myself. Last night, I realized what she was talking about as I sat alone in my bed crying out loud.

As I share this, I do not share it from a place of sadness, but from a place of encouragement. The only way to know true healing is to know and experience true feeling, from the deepest depths of sadness within ourselves to the greatest heights of joy. The reality is it is all flowing from the same place of umbounded consciousness or Love. The Light of Consciousness is Love, but we must allow that Light to illuminate the depths of our insecurities and darkness to know the fullness of its energetic embrace and presence in our hearts and minds. So, as we grow through this season, allow the Agni (fire) of summer to unsurface the unseen within yourself. And, be receptive to the Grace. Amazing grace...I once was lost but now I'm found...was blind, but now I see.

One more thing, my dear friend and meditation teacher, Roy Williams will be speaking at the Unity Church of Dallas on August 17th at 10 am. He will be speaking on the three pillars of enlightenment, Study, Service and Meditation. I hope you will be able to attend as he is a true teacher who has positively impacted my life with his guidance and wisdom.

Until next time...Om shanti! Read more