The Holiday Yoga class was not what I expected which is what made it so awesome. I realized from now on it will be called a Winter Solstice celebration. (That way I will have more creative freedom, besides just playing Holiday music) When I practiced Yoga, the day before the class, to the music I had selected, I realized it was going to be too difficult to find the breath to the traditional Christmas song. Last year when I taught the Holiday Yoga class I was not as connected to the breath in my Yoga practice as I am now. The Friday before this year's Holiday Yoga class, I realized I would need to find some alternative music for class. I found some really awesome and beautiful Celtic Christmas songs which worked beautifully, from an album called Inner Splendor. Much of it was instrumental and then I played the occasional song here or there with lyrics in it, like Joy to the World, Silent Night, Silver Bells, etc. Of course, my favorite song of the season is My Grown-Up Christmas List by Michael Buble. Definitely one to download...

So, what made this year's class especially different? The primal screaming. I didn't know it would happen, didn't expect it at all. I'm learning the best thing I can do is be authentic with the people who are in class with me. The days prior to the Holiday class, there was such a heaviness and tension in the air, not with just myself, but it seemed with everyone around me. On Saturday, although I was looking forward to class, the feeling in the air didn't feel any better. In the hours before class, I started having many awarenesses and revelations about this time of year. In preparing for the class I found out practically every culture in the world has some kind of Winter Solstice celebration. Obviously in the West, it is Christmas.

"Christmas or Christ's Mass is one of the most popular Christian celebrations as well as one of the most globally recognized midwinter celebrations. Christmas is the celebration of the birth of the Christian Deity God Incarnate or Messiah, Jesus Christ. The birth is observed on December 25, which was the Roman winter solstice upon establishment of the Julian Calendar. [12] Christian churches recognized folk elements of the festival in various cultures within the past several hundred years, allowing much of the folklore and traditions of local pagan festivals to be appropriated. So today, the old festivals such as Jul, Коледа and Karácsony, are still celebrated in many parts of Europe, but the Christian Nativity is now often representational as the meaning behind the holiday. This is why Yule and Christmas are considered interchangeable in Anglo–Christendom. Universal activities include feasting, Midnight Masses and singing Christmas carols about the Nativity. Good deeds and gift giving in the tradition of St. Nicholas by not admitting to being the actual gift giver is also observed by some countries. Many observe the holiday for twelve days leading up to the Epiphany." -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Winter_solstice

When I arrived at class on Saturday it felt heavy. Like people were there for a Christmas Yoga class but they didn't know why. Is doing Yoga to Christmas music really going to put me in the Spirit? Because I'm definitely not feeling the
Spirit right now. Those are some of the feelings and thoughts I sensed in the air. So, I began the class talking about this powerful time of transformation and change we are in known as the changing of the seasons. However, this change, in particular, is more significant than any other seasonal shift we make throughout the year. The Winter Solstice is the beginning of a new Solar Year. That is HUGE. Our man made calendar is really messed up and not in rhythm with the natural flow of things. And, in our culture, we are certainly not encouraged to honor the natural rhythms, but to adjust ourselves to man's calendar...screw that.

Let's take this into consideration. First of all, what a year it has been. It's almost unimaginable all we've been through and grown through, individually and collectively. If you just pause for a moment and reflect back, you will find it's almost incomprehensible. Let yourself just be with that for some time. Maybe take a break from reading this post, fix yourself a cup of tea, and just close your eyes and breathe into that awareness for several minutes...it's immense...from a new President, to everything else that has gone on along the way, with one of the greatest transformations that has happened in the history of the world, or at least our country...a black person as the leader of the free world. This is something that needed to happen...no matter what your political beliefs...we needed to believe that real change is possible if we commit our hearts and minds to it. We can be the change we wish to see in the world, as Gandhi said, and we can inspire others to join us in that vision, just as Gandhi did, and so many others have done, as well. We can each make a difference in our own way...and we are lucky to have a President who reminds us of that everyday. There may be things we disagree with, but the future is brighter because of the hope we have in our hearts now. Hope that tomorrow can be better, if we choose better today, each of us, in our own seemingly insignificant and yet powerfully profound ways.

I have been stretched to keep an open heart in times when I've felt so hurt by others, and yet, I know that to keep an open heart is the only way. Or, as Deva Premal says, love is the only prayer. We must love, it is the only hope we have if we want to see the world around us transform into a better place, one breath at a time. We must love our neighbor as we love our self. We have witnessed what the other way causes, and continues to cause, for millennium. If we want the world around us to change, we must learn to love each other as we love our self, even our enemies, as Yogananda would say, it is the only hope we have, to let the resistance from our own heart melt away, even when it's uncomfortable, even when we are afraid of getting hurt. As Neal Donald Walsch would say, you've gotta sing like you aren't getting paid and love like you can't get hurt. Do we need to allow ourselves space, at times, to heal and evolve into a healthier place with those around us? Yes. But, in that space, we must keep our hearts open to the evolution, transformation and healing of love. Love heals, and love is our only hope. If each one of us could love the person we are most afraid to love, or feel most uncomfortable or have the most resistance to loving, in whatever way we are guided to, the world would be a better place. Everything in it's own time. Sometimes we must let go to find a better, truer way to love. As Deva Premal also says, love is space.

So, in preparing for the Holiday Yoga class, it occurred to me we have been moving through the great release, the great metamorphosis, the great death throughout the Fall Season. Some part of our self must die, so we can be reborn into a better relationship with everyone and everything around us. In Yoga, we might consider this better relationship is really born from the breath. As Rod Stryker would say, if we want anything in our life to change for the better, the first thing to change is our relationship with our own breath. This is why Rod Stryker always teaches a specific breathing process in his classes. This past Fall, he taught us the 1:2 breath. Inhale to a count of 4, exhale to a count of 8. After practicing this for several months, my breath has deepened with my inhale and exhale. But, 4 and 8 is a good place to begin for most of us. So, I have been practicing this breathing and noticing anytime my breath is irregular, ruffled, disturbed, etc. It turns out, it has been tremendously disturbed over the past year and a half. I would consider this is mostly because of my father's illness and passing away, some part of my subconscious knew, although I didn't want to admit it, but some part of me knew my dad was leaving. We never want to see it, but it is there before us if we are not afraid to look. I was too afraid to see the Truth. Which is understandable. I was also in a very stressful relationship. We were not able to connect in an authentic way with one another, in other words, we were not able to be in the breath/love (perhaps because of fears/tensions) with one another completely, and so I'm sure this had an affect on my breath, as well. I consider these disturbances/tensions in my breath were there long before these experiences occurred, perhaps since I was first born into the world, and through the practice of Yoga and the poses, these places of tension, or these holding patterns in the breath have been brought to the surface to be released and healed. Fears, hurts, tensions, anxieties, all of which have been suppressed for a long time, and have caused my heart to be constricted in some way, were brought to the surface through my practice and life experiences to be healed and released. To love another is to be in the breath with another. (The only way we can do that is to fully love and accept another person as they are, to not judge or analyze them because they are not what we think they need to be.) All of these hurts and the suffering I have gone through, have actually opened my heart to a deeper connection to my breath and the spirit, and the spirit, or, breath, of everyone I'm connected to...so in our suffering is actually our salvation or healing. Tonight in class I was saying that all of the people in our life are like Yoga poses. Some we like, some we don't. But, all are teachers and all are loving us into a better alignment with our self and everyone, if we simply surrender our will and open our hearts to loving in a better way...not the way we think it needs to look or be, but the way we are guided to love. We may not always get what we want...but we will get what we need. Which is love, all ways, as Shiva would say. All of love is an evolution, with our neighbor and everyone else we are connected to...may our hearts be open to loving, and may we exhale from our heart with every breath we breathe. May we be the best lovers we can be to our friends, our neighbors, our partners, our teachers and everyone in between. May our hearts be an outpouring of Divine Love and Light and may we realize the sacred opportunity it is to share this love and light with everyone we meet and know, even those we have felt hurt by in the past. May our hearts know healing, compassion and forgiveness with all of those we have known along the way.

So, I guess what I could say is we were all feeling a significant transformation and release happening, and Saturday, for many of us, was the height of that emotional intensity we've been feeling. It was the time when all of us came together to be joyous, and yet, what we were really feeling was disgruntled and angry. Pissed off at what? You name it, just feeling the tensions of the world, and needing a way to release it. I had forgotten, most recently, that my first Yoga teacher would encourage us to let it out, scream, moan, groan, shout, whatever needed to happen to feel to heal. During the first part of the class we flowed along to peaceful Christmas music, but as the emotional intensity built up in the room and I could feel the tension in people's hearts and minds, I suggested we start screaming. I didn't even know it was called primal screaming. I just said, think about it, what baby do you know that was born into the world happy? Aside from supposedly one or two saints, most babies come into the world screaming their heads off. They are pissed. I said, we are all being birthed into a new Solar Year, a time of greater Light and Consciousness. It's like we are being born from the darkness to the Light, yet again. Coming out of the womb and into the Light hurt like hell. It wasn't fun, and was somewhat painful, for most of us, obviously. Kicking and screaming we came into the world. What a picture. But, we had to let it out to be able to breathe. So, we breathed that first breath when we were born and then WAAAAAAAAAAAA, for a while, and then, we were able to find our breath and breathe peacefully.

We are each going through this rebirth in our own way. I would like to say we have made it through the most intense part. And, I really believe for those of us who screamed on Saturday, it helped a lot. I said to the class, whatever you are angry at, let it out. If it's a person, if it's the President, if it's another country, if it's war...whatever it is...let it out. Scream so God can hear you. But, instead of sending anger to that place, send Light. Scream so that God can't help but hear you. So many saints have talked about how when they first started on the spiritual path, they would talk all peacefully to God. Even Yogananda talks about this. Then, somewhere along the way they would start being authentic with God. Yelling at him, arguing with him. God wants us to be real with him. Most of us take our anger or emotions out on other people, when what we should be doing is yelling our frustrations to God. He wants us to relate to Him like we would any other human being...BE REAL...BE HUMAN...FEEL. Let Him know you feel. Scream your head off...yell at him in the car...whatever you need to do to let it out. But, let it out in a constructive way. Yell that He send His Light/Love to the places that need it. Most Yoga classes have become way to passive. What we need more than ever is to feel our emotions...the energy in motion that's moving through us. These experiences we are moving through, feeling and healing from. Lots of Yoga classes don't encourage you to let it out. That's why I'm so grateful for my first teacher who taught me to be real. She was and is such an inspiration. I'm looking forward to going back to practicing with her some for a while. It's been a while and whenever I go there it's like returning hOMe. Suze Curtis is awesome and amazing...a true warrior Goddess.

So, we all yelled and screamed. After class, my friend told me she would go to a Yoga class in L.A. a lot where the first ten minutes of class was all ecstatic dance and primal screaming. So, I didn't know we were primal screaming, but that's what we were doing. And, I'm realizing it's necessary and important. Think about it, the first thing we ever did when we came into the world, to breathe through this great transformation we had gone through was SCREAM. Whether you know it or not, and I'm guessing you know it, you are going through one now. If you haven't screamed yet...SCREAM...let it out. Don't hold it in...be uninhibited with your own Self. Do it...now.

You will see yelling and screaming at God, (not another person) or to feel what you need to feel is healing. I know sometimes we do take our anger out on others, but ideally this would happen less and less. The most powerful thing we can do when someone is yelling at us is to not take it personally. It is always their stuff. If we have to be exposed to anger, the best thing to do is to just be an open channel of love, compassion and forgiveness, so that anger can flow right back to them and they can deal with whatever it is they need to deal with in themselves. If we make them wrong for feeling what they need to feel, we make ourselves wrong. Hold the space for others to feel around you, and yet, be wise, in how you choose to connect to others. If the dynamic of a certain relationship is not healthy, then just like a Yoga pose, we must surrender our will of what we think the relationship should look like, to what the Highest alignment of that relationship is meant to be. It's a breath by breath journey. One day at a time. There is no exact answer...there is only letting go and surrendering to the will one breath at at time...and being in that question...how does it need to be so it is best for every ONE and facilitates the greatest healing possible for all.

Here's a long excerpt from one of my favorite books, It's Here Now Are You? by Bhagavan Das.

The peace that comes from letting go and surrendering is incredible. Again and again it keeps coming back to letting go of our own will to have a plan about where we're going and a goal. It seems that we spontaneously align the Plan of God for us. I think that's the whole "follow your bliss" thing. It's really Thy will be done, not mine, Jesus said it all. Love the Lord with all your heart and soul, and your neighbor as yourself. That's it. There is no one out there but us. And if we can just put God first, Om first-offer the food up, offer the day up, become conscious the first moment you wake up, think of God-then there is peace.

Surrender to yourself as being God. Go through the great Christian blasphemy-I am God. What we've lost is ourselves. During the process of doing what needs to be done in the moment, each thing becomes a stepping stone to the next thing. But there needs to be courage because it's a creative process. You can sit there with your paints looking at the white piece of paper forever to get a good idea. Or you can just let your hand sweep into the paint and start to feel what's going to come forth.

Initiation is necessary. It's necessary to have a Guru in the form of a human being whom you can see and feel. There is a certain sense of feeling that's important to be aware of and trust.

The birth experience is profoundly spiritual, coming from the womb of the mother and connecting with her. As we are on that nipple looking up into the luminosity of our mother's eyes, that is God. We are part of the circle of devotion. It sets the feeling tone for the spiritual journey of our lives.

Only through spiritual practice can we experience eternity so that we are devouring the world and devouring time rather than the other way around.

Compassion means being able to speak to all people, wherever their consciousness is, with no judgments about them; simply be there with them. That's compassion. No judgment. Just being there. That's being a real spiritual friend to the world.

Do you want to surrender to the divine plan, or are you going to try to force your own plan? There's a real problem when you have a plan. When you have a plan, Divine Mother breaks into your room and steals your money. I planned on becoming rich and famous, so Ram Dass introduced me to Jimi Hendrix's manager, Michael Jeffries. He loved my voice, loved my art. He was going to make me a star, yet two weeks after we had made our plan Michael died in an airplane crash. Mother was the pilot. She's always at the controls. If I'd become a star, I'd probably be dead from drugs by now and never would have come back to the Mother. If you keep falling into her arms, you'll become tired of all your exteranl desires. She alone can fulfill your desires.

It's really time we took Jesus off the cross and got into the true meaning of the resurrection. The resurrection is our own consciousness within our hearts, here and now. The divine dwells within us, it is us. It is closer to us than our eyeball, which we can't even see because we are seeing out of it.

Tantra brings it together, which is the bindu. The female is within the male, and the male energy is in the female, and we project them outward and constantly become in a state of craziness. Everyone is mad and crazy, pretending they're not. Like Ramakrishna said, "You're mad for the world, you're mad over lust and money and power and stuff. Or are you mad for God?" Pick your madness.

It always comes back to just letting go with love. Just put love into it, whatever it is, and if you can't put love into it, don't do it. If you do it without love it doesn't have any power. It gets down to that. You've got to get the earth magic going. You've got to get the earth magic going. You've got to get the elemental earth mother backing your play. Then you get the power of the spot where you are. You acknowledge the spot. You sit in your house and say, "Thank you Mother for this spot. Thank you for this house. Thank you for my bed. Thank you for my chair. Thank you for my life. Thank you for you." This is the way. It's simple, it's the way of the child. If you become a little child, you shall enter the kingdom of heaven. That's really what it is. It's finding that childlike, spontaneous connection to the feeling tone, without putting a label on it. Just let it be, like raw sensations, experience the freshness of feeling. Just celebrate the body instead of all the trips we have about bodies.

We are love. Start really letting go, being in your bodies, and seeing the divine in the body. Tantra is worshiping the body as the divine. Not just your body, all bodies. Everyone's it. That feeling that every time we see someone, we really are looking at the Divine Mother; and she will play within their eyes for you.

Get into the breath. The breath is the seat that we sit on. It is something we can get hold of.

If you can get that atmosphere of devotion going, then the spiritual path is fun and exciting. You won't even have to try, it will no longer be work but a part of your everyday life- a part of every moment. Everything is just what it is. It can be as light or as heavy as we want to make it moment to moment. We get to choose each moment and how we want to live in it. How do you want it? It's the biggest deal of all, and yet it's not a big deal. It's just life and death. The joy in the enlightened beings I've been around is just incredible. It seems like this is what we all want-to be happy. You're going to be a lot happier if you don't have a plan. Because then, magical things can happen. You're open to people coming up to you because you know that everyone is God, so God's going to come up to you, give you a message, bring light to you, and inspire you. This is what the dakinis are. It's the external world awakening us. They circle around us when we become the upright stone, when we become still ouf of devotion. We show our love by stillness, by being heartfelt, by just getting into a divine mood. The divine mood is everything. Without the divine mood, none of this can happen. I think that's what's missing in the New Age. There's not a lot of divine mood going on. There's only a lot of hustle going on, more buying and selling.

Life is a journey to death, a journey home. Let go of the fear-Kali wants the blood of our heart. She is the pump of our heart, she is the breath, the power of the breath, the moment of the life energy. She's devouring the blood as it flows through us. Everything is that. So get generous, that's what it amounts to-real generosity of your life. It isn't your life, it's Her life. We are living Her. She's deeply compassionate and she is wisdom. We live in duality, yet her wisdom is nondual. So start from where you are, start with desire. If you're a man and you have a lot of lust, and lust is your problem, she's a beautiful young girl. Make God a beautiful naked girl, and go fot it. Guess what? God will come to you as a beautiful young naked girl and take you right through lust into the love. That's been my experience.

First you learn to concentrate. The easiest thing to concentrate on is music, sound. You get one-pointed. Then spontanteously, through your love, that will lead you into meditaiton. It's a gift, a state of grace. Meditation comes. I don't sit to meditate, I sit to love. I'm hopping in bed with the Divine Mother. Let's play Ma! Let's have fun! How are you? What's going on? You've got to get really simple with it.

Take it out of the heavy trip and make it into a light trip. Let the light be God for you. When I offer the flower to Ma, I put the flower down and step back; I look at the light coming off the edge of the flower, a scene so beautiful it explodes my mind in ecstasy. It's just the flower, but it's a flower given with love. So she accepts it and then the boon she gives it the light on the edge of the petals. I will come in that flower for you because you love me. Love is enough. Presence is enough. Presence is all that we have and all tha twe are. So let's just experience the presence and let ourselves have it. That's all it is. All these spiritual practices, sadhanas, disciplines, ashrams, and chanting is for purification so we can drop into that childlike state of wonder and surrender to existence.

How much do you want? How much freedom, how much liberation do you want? How much God do you want? Most people want about 2 percent. Maybe 1 percent. It's always going to be the few who really want to go all the way. But we're all going all the way anyway, whether we want to or not, because we're all really Here.

How to get here? How to show up for life? That's what it's all about. You have to be present to win. In one mind moment, it's gone. To be able to catch the wind, to be able to have the birds land in your hair, you have to be very still. When the birds chirp on top of your head, it's a great, blissful experience. It's being one with nature. We are the trees and we are the earth and we are the fire and the water and the air. We are all of this.

To see ourselves in others-all others-and to be ourselves in others until there are no others is what it's all about. There is only love, only One." -It's Here Now Are You? by Bhagavan Das

Here's one more thing I want to share with you. A poem by Hafiz called Rewards For Clear Thinking.

Rewards For Clear Thinking

Think about this for a second:

God (being God), having Infinite Knowledge,
Not only knew your every thought and action
Your life would ever experience

(Even before you were born)

But He also, being the Divine Creator,
Has etched every moment of your existence
With His own hand

With the precision and care
No artist ever could.

Think about this for a moment:

I have never heard a bird or the sun
Ever say to God,
I am sorry.

There seems to be a great reward
For clear thinking:
All existence is a pawn in the Friend's hands.

Look, one gets wings and gifts to the world
Music each morning:
One turns into such an extraordinary light
He actually becomes a sustainer of a whole planet.

One makes a thousand moons go mad with love
And blush all night.

When one can surrender the illusion, the crutch, of
Free will,

Though still live-for the benefit of others-
The highest of moral
Codes.

Quite a post, but it's been quite a year. Merry Christmas. May the Christ-consciousness be resurrected in our hearts and minds with every breath we breath. Jai guru!

Also, you've got to check out this video...spectacular. ;)
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It's great to have the sunshine back in Dallas, although I'm pretty sure the temperature dropped about 40 degrees in a couple of hours last night. It's unbelievable the impact atmospheric changes can have on the body. I'm learning more and more to just accept where my body is each day, to not expect it to be where it was yesterday. If I just meet my body honestly where it's at, instead of placing all these expectations on myself, (and just allow myself to be in my breath) I find amazing things can happen in my Yoga practice. It's much better that way...I spent a lot of years trying to prove something to myself and often injuring myself along the way.

A couple of days ago I was in Whole Foods and I met this lovely gentleman named Walter. He was offering samples of a certain green drink. As I was browsing the greeting cards, I overheard him singing...it was beautiful. I made my way around to where he was and he offered me a sample. I said, how could I say no to you? He was singing and he said he would sing me a song. So, I asked him to sing a Christmas song. And, this is what he sang. Beautiful. Next time you go into the Whole Foods at Preston and Forest Lane, be sure to look for him and ask him to sing you something. You can tell him I suggested for you to hear him sing. He'll love it. (I wanted to post the video on the blog, but wasn't able to, so the link links to youtube. I guess it was time for me to get a youtube account anyway.)...

So, the Holiday Yoga playlist has been made, every year I teach this class I think I've found my favorite playlist, but it seems every year the songs just become more and more connected and beautiful. Something resonates even more deeply with me and I love this year's songs. Some I've played before and some are new. I'm in love with Michael Buble and his Christmas album is awesome. I hope you will be able to join me this Saturday at exhale spa in Dallas for the annual Holiday Yoga class. It's from 3-5 pm with refreshments following. It's an incredibly special experience. We will also be focusing on this powerful time of positive change and transformation we are growing through energetically/spiritually as we awaken to the Winter Solstice on December 21st. It is a time for celebration as those of us who are spiritually aligned in the Yogic principles, the Universal vows, known as the Yamas, are growing more and more connected in the One Light that illuminates us all. Those of us who live our lives according to these virtues grow increasingly connected to the Light of Consciousness within us and all around us and we know we are, indeed, part of a spiritual family here on earth, blazing through space at hundreds of thousands of miles per hour. There is nothing to fear. We are growing stronger with each Divine, spiritually-charged breath of prana we breathe. Non-violence (Ahimsa) in thoughts, words and actions is the way, Truth (Satya) is the way, Moderation (Brahmacharya) in all things is the way, Non-stealing (Asteya) is the way, and Non-coveting/non-greed (Aparigraha)is the way. Here is an awesome article on the Yamas, which are the first limb of Yoga on the eight limbed path prescribed by Patanjali, the Father of Yoga, who lived before Christ. A very well-known Yoga teacher, Judith Lasater, wrote this article.

I hope to see you this Saturday. I also want to share the lyrics from one of my recent favorite songs by Michael Franti called Never Too Late. You gotta download this song.

Don't fear your best friends,
because a best friend would never try to do you wrong.
And don't fear your worst friends,
because a worst friend is just a best friend that's done you wrong.
And don't fear the night time,
because the monsters know you're divine.
And don't fear the sunshine,
because everything is better in the summertime.

But it's never too late to start the day over,
it's never to late to pick up the phone.
You know it's never too late to lay your head down on my shoulders,
it's never too late just come on home.

Don't fear the water,
because you can swim inside you within your skin.
And don't fear your father,
because a father's just a boy without a friend.
And don't fear to walk slow,
don't be a horserace, be a marathon.
And don't fear the long road,
because on the long road you got a long time to sing a simple song.

But it's never too late to start the day over,
it's never too late to pick up the phone.
You know it's never too late to lay your head down on my shoulders,
it's never too late just come on home.

Don't fear your teachers,
because if you listen you can hear music in a school bell.
And don't fear your preacher,
if you can't find heaven in a prison cell.
And don't fear your own self,
paying money to justify your worth.
And don't fear your family,
because you chose them along time before your birth.

But it's never too late to start the day over,
it's never too late to pick up the phone.
You know it's never too late to lay your head down on my shoulders,
it's never too late just come on home.

Hold to your children, hold to your children, hold to your children, let them know.
.

WE are blessed. OM is within us and all around us. Everywhere I go these days I see OM. OM is God. Right now I'm sitting at The Pearl Cup in Dallas, a fabulous coffee shop and the girl who works here noticed my OM necklace, she is wearing an OM necklace, too, and has OM tattoed on her wrist. OM is the vibration we align with as we become increasingly attuned to these spiritual practices and principles. Spiritual evolution is not possible without first embodying the Yamas in our Being. Gandhi said "Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony."

Off to work on my book reports for my Prana Flow Yoga 200 hour Yoga certification with Shiva Rea. Finally, the space has cleared for me to put my energy into this. I'm looking forward to completing my certification and being able to assist her at workshops and retreats as I continue to grow and evolve in the journey of Yoga. Om shanti, jai guru and Happy Holidays. Stand By Me just came on at the coffee shop. When the night has come, and the land is dark, and the moon is the only light we see, no, I won't be afraid... The girl with the OM just said that's her favorite song in the whole world. Wow, now there is a guitarist playing live (click on that link and you can hear some of his music, I just found out his name is Bill Martin) right in front of me singing You've Got a Friend. God is good.

Ya know, just yesterday I remembered that a couple of weeks ago I attended a Kirtan and ecstatic dance here in Dallas led by Rudra Das. He invited us to cultivate an intention before we began the Kirtan and dance. He said, if you don't know an intention, a good one is always to just ask to grow spiritually in the best way possible. When I reflect over the difficulties of the last couple of weeks, I realize and remember that God works in mysterious ways. If we don't resist or fight against His plan, and surrender to it, He is always transforming us, opening us up to His Love and blessing us in amazing ways with His Grace. Now he is singing the sun is out, the sky is blue it's beautiful and so are you, dear roots, won't you come out and play.

And, now...Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly, all your life you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

He's also sangJoyful, Joyful We Adore Thee, another one of my dad's favorite songs and now he is singing Silent Night, too. As I left, he was singing Oh Holy Night.

It's time for Holiday Yoga with the ever-expanding Christ-Consciousness within us and all around us.Read more

(Please click on picture to enlarge and read.)

1 Corinthians 13:

Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

It's 12:23 in the morning. I had turned off the lights to go to sleep and I couldn't go to sleep without writing this post. This has happened to me a few times where I know I will not be able to rest unless I share what I need to say. Oh my gosh...I'm crying as I write this.

The first thing I want to say is everything is going to be ok. I know we get uncertain sometimes. I know our faith and hope are challenged and we wonder if we are going to make it, if things are going to turn out alright. This is part of the spiritual path. Our faith is meant to be challenged so it grows stronger, our hope is meant to be questioned so it grows brighter. So be grateful for where you are...all the moments of your life as they are...and all the choices you've made as Rod Stryker would say. And, as Byron Katie would say...love what is.

"Byron Katie became severely depressed in her early thirties. For almost a decade she spiraled down into depression, rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide; for the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom.

Then one morning in February 1986, she experienced a life-changing realization. There are various names for an experience like this. Katie calls it "waking up to reality."

In that instant of no-time, she says,

I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.

She realized that what had been causing her depression was not the world around her, but the beliefs she'd had about the world. Instead of hopelessly trying to change the world to match her thoughts about how it should be, she could question these thoughts and, by meeting reality as it is, experience unimaginable freedom and joy. As a result, a bedridden, suicidal woman was instantly filled with love for everything life brings." www.thework.com

I have been through a great deal of challenges recently. Many of you know my father passed away a year ago, the 24th of November was the one year anniversary of his passing. Just today (or yesterday on December 6th) was the day of his funeral...the day he was buried in Ohio. I've gone through some incredibly difficult moments of pain, dealing with the grief of losing my father and realizing how much I miss him, which as the days go by, my love and longing for him grows deeper and deeper. I realize it doesn't become less. I miss his Presence more and more, and yet, in the missing I know I become more and more connected to his Presence, his Love and Light that is within me, moving in every cell of my body.

In addition to the loss of my father, I have been dealing with changes in a relationship and not having the primary person who was in my life, during the time of my father's illness and death, here for me right now. Perhaps in some way they are here for me, on some level, but I've not been able to talk to them because they are upset or not happy with me. On some of my most difficult days, I've had to deal with not having the person who said they loved me here for me when I needed them the most. But, I know it's a blessing in disguise, as part of my journey of healing is to know that I am the only one who can comfort myself, ultimately. Yes, those around me can love me and care for me, and I am SO grateful for the incredible support and love I feel flowing all around me in my life right now. And yet, I know that in my deepest darkest moments I need to know how to rely on and comfort myself in my pain. Through the pain, the grace and blessings reveal themselves. And, that is perhaps what I am most grateful for in my life right now, is feeling the outpouring of love, support and positive energy from all of the amazing people around me in my life. If you are reading this...you are one of those people. Thank you to all of my true friends.

Also, I know I'm not alone in feeling this intensity that so many of us have been feeling...if not all of us. I want to remind you we are in the end phase of the Fall Season (Vinyasa). Remember, in Yoga, a vinyasa is a cycle and a cycle is anything with a beginning, middle and end. Everything in life is a vinyasa. Every season, day, and even in every breath there is a beginning, middle and end. Over the last couple of weeks I've been reflecting on the significance of the Fall Season and this sacred and powerful transition from Fall to Winter as we align with the Winter Solstice. I used to think of the Winter Solstice, which is on December 21st and is the longest day of darkness, as the beginning of a time of darkness with the Winter Season. (in other words thinking it's going to get worse before it gets better.) But, now I realize it is actually the turning point in our spiritual evolution. In other words, the time of darkness is now, where we are most challenged emotionally and spiritually to release regressive energy and align with the Light of Consciousness in a more powerful and positive way, allowing healing to move through our hearts and minds with ourself and everyone around us so positive changes can take place. In other words, right in this very moment we are in the time of the greatest intensity of death. Fall is the season of death or the great transition, release, letting go both in Nature and in our inner nature. And, because we are in the very end of Fall right now (with only two weeks until Winter), of course this feeling would be most intense at this very moment. But, the shift is happening and the positive change is taking place. So do not fight what is. Love and appreciate it being exactly the way it is because it is serving your evolution and transformation, and consider you even sought for it to be this way to serve your greatest good and the greatest good of everyone around you. Forgive whoever you need to forgive, including yourself. Love everyone around you because as Dharma Mittra would say...'Everything is God and everything is within you. It's like money, what good is it if it's out there, you want it in your pocketbook.'

The Winter Solstice is the turning point and it is a time of celebration. It means you have moved through some of the powerful spiritual lessons you have needed to learn. We are all learning these lessons both individually and collectively, and our collective consciousness is evolving, even though it doesn't always seem that way. As we grow through Winter, the darkness gradually grows shorter and we blossom and emerge into a new reality. This reality springs forth from the one we have planted for ourselves from the seeds we've reaped, from the spiritual harvest of Fall, from all that we have sown from the year before. In Yoga, we could say Winter Solstice is like the New Year of our spiritual evolution, the one which is in alignment with Mother Nature. It is the ending of one cycle of seasons and the beginning of a new vinyasa. So, while the intensity we are moving through may feel like more than we can handle, in moments, remember...you are actually being reborn from darkness into Light.

You'll notice the title of my last post was Glory, Glory, Hallelujah. When I wrote that post about a week ago I was thinking of my dad. He loved the Battle Hymn of the Republic. I can remember being in church with him growing up, or sometimes just in the car or around the house, and he would start singing that song. He would love to belt it out and sing it. In church, I always remember him singing louder in that song than any other song we would sing. Especially when it got to the chorus of Glory, Glory, Hallelujah you could feel his heart bursting it out. My dad had the best voice, so full of love.

When we were deciding what songs to sing at his funeral, I suggested we sing this song. We didn't end up singing it, but that was ok. Well, this morning when I went to my meditation group...(and of course also on the date of my dad's funeral a year ago) that was the last song we sang. It's Yoganandas version of the song, so the lyrics are basically just...

As we die to make men holy,
let us live to make men free,
His love is marching on.
Glory, glory, hallelujah.
Glory, glory, hallelujah.
Glory, glory, hallelujah.
His love is marching on.

Actually, I just read this was also Yogananda's favorite song and chant! How awesome. Well, guess what? My mom went to her church this morning. And, the song they sang during the offering, which they hardly ever sing was Fairest Lord Jesus. This was one of the songs we sang at my dad's funeral. He spoke to both of us in his own magical and mysterious way, reminding us and comforting us that His presence is always with us. What a miracle and blessing.

This month I'll be attending a 7 hour Christmas meditation with my meditation group. I would never have imagined a year ago, I'd be able to attend a 7 hour meditation. I'm ready and I'm really looking forward to it. I feel so blessed to be guided by Yogananda's teachings and all of the Christ-conscious gurus of SRF. This morning when I was at my meditation group, I noticed the sign that's in the picture above. I loved it so I took a picture of it. It must have been a Sunday school lesson for the children while we were in the meditation service. Recently, I've been reflecting on what a real friend is. What does it mean to be a true friend? I liked what the children had to say. I hope to have more friends like that in my life and I hope to always be a better, truer friend in that way to each and everyone I know. I love that they said that a friend 'hugs,' 'they don't judge people by their opinions' and 'not jealous.'

Here's a hug to all of you. Thank you for all the love and support you give back. If you are in Dallas, come to the Holiday Class at exhale this Saturday, December 12th from 3-5 pm with refreshments following. It's going to be an amazing, spiritually uplifting and positively transformational experience. I hope to get to share in this beautiful and inspiring class with you. We will be celebrating the Christmas season and the dawning of the Winter Solstice. Blessings...

1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

p.s.-Byron Katie will be in Houston and Dallas in January 2010. I've been getting the guidance to meet her for a long time, so I will be attending one of those events! My Thai Massage Teacher, Chock, is the one who mentioned it to me.Read more